What is a fainting couch?

What is a sequel to a really bad Sandra Bullock movie from the 1990s?

What is, "Ew. I meant to say 'truth,' not 'dare.'"

What is, "We're Not Mississippi"?

It would be so much more accurate with the degrading graphics glitch,

What is "Looking at Simpsons Indefinitely"?

Doesn’t Lorem Ipsum pitch for them?

Because baseball bats are worth more than Teslas now?

Can we at least get a nice healthy burp?

What is, "We Can Count Real Good"?

I get that. Unearned agitation really...um...agitates me.

What are error messages?

Too soon?

Her dog lived longer than her DHS career.

This year for Lent, I'm giving up

Age or win record? Either way, you've made it this far. Treat yourself to some BBQ.

What is "SnapCrickPopCrack...Ouch"?

Who is Walter Boarding?

What is a joint effort by Armenia and Flexico?

What is Eagerly Anticipating New Things

Who is Bok Bok Bok Bakok Obama?

What is, "You want a piece of me?"

What is a tine-y idea?

Know how I know 2026 is gonna be awesome? I just had a dual-streamer, and both streams went in the toilet!

My puppy keeps humping my leg. I'm unclear on state law, so I don't know whether to take her to the boys' side of the yard or the girls' side of the yard to use the bathroom.

I love a tug-of-war puppy growl.

That’s usually my first step in entering a conversation. My next step is to leave the room and find something to read on my phone and avoid all human interaction with strangers for the rest of my life.

Tri tippin’

I discovered that a simple sign that says, "Make sure elevator car is present before stepping through doors" resulted in many more of my coworkers using the stairs...as well as a terse email from HR. Apparently, they didn't buy my reasoning that it was a wellness initiative.