A photo of a cat under a bed with a rotisserie chicken with the caption: This is Beans. Beans stole a while rotisserie chicken off the counter. Not a piece. The whole chicken. Beans dragged it under the bed and growled at us for forty minutes. Beans is 9 pounds.

Become ungovernable

Decimus Phostle [waving his arms excitedly]: "Tintintin tiiin" Tintin: "?" Decimus Phostle [waving his arms excitedly]: "Tintintintintin" Tintin: "?" Decimus Phostle [waving his arms excitedly]: "Tintintin tiin tintintintintintintintin" Tintin: "?" Decimus Phostle [extreme closeup]: "It's the final countdown!" Tintin: *grabs his head with both hands in shock*

"If they come for us in the morning, they will come for you in the night"
Sticker spotted in Seattle

My body is a machine that turns 75% off discounts into unplayed games

Same but also

Bill Clinton should take one for the team and say it's real, especially if it isn't

It is depressing but predictable that the mere prospect of a consensual blowjob between consenting adult men is likely to be more damaging to a world leader than the far more likely possibility that he assaulted children.

in 2011, the president of antifa hired me to give fashion consultancy to the organization. i recommended everyone wear navy suits with tan shoes, dress sneakers, and golf polos with slim chinos. if you arrested everyone today wearing these things, you'd destroy antifa

sherman, for the love of god!

CAGE Internacional ha denunciado la desaparición de la periodista Yvonne Ridley, activista de la Flotilla en solidaridad con el pueblo de Palestina.

Happy Umineko

a black cat jumping out of a bag that has a black Puma logo on it

Just as the prophecy foretold

Tumblr poll from “lesbianalism” Do you think you could take a werewolf? Yes: 70.6% No: 29.4% In a fight? Yes: 8.1% No: 91.9% Final results from 35,878 votes

Allow me to share one of my favorite tumblr polls of all time

Can’t believe the cost of living has also happened in Hyrule 😭

A lot of things are uncomfortable. Trying to untangle what is uncomfortable vs what is dangerous starts to become confusing to people

This is how it extends into so many facets of life and society that allows shitty people to ride that wave and make harmful laws

"There are three kinds of magic," said Wizzler, handing us each a balloon. "You can control tigers, you can shoot tornadoes from your fingers, or you can fly by holding your breath. The color of confetti inside your balloon will reveal which kind of power you have." I felt the panic rising in me. What if my confetti turned yellow, indicating that I was a Tiger-Talker? My family, a long line of proud Tornado-Fingers, would disown me. Could I ever return home, bearing such shame? I tried to calm myself as I readied the ceremonial safety pin. Green, I thought, willing my hopes into reality. Please be green. I popped the balloon, involuntarily shutting my eyes. When I opened them, would I see the green I hoped for? The yellow I feared? What if, gods forbid, the confetti were blue? I opened my eyes, seeing shock on the faces of my classmates. Wizzler himself stared at me, wide-eye. Looking down, I saw myself covered in confetti... purple confetti.

“I don’t understand,” I growled, my body trembling with pain. “I combined eighty percent Earth-elemental mana with twenty percent Fire-elemental mana (Type B), focused through a twenty-four-sided icositetragon made of yellow topaz. This, in conjunction with my blood type, star sign, sense of humor, and nickname, should have produced a blazing column of lightning to vaporize my enemies. Instead, it made a big bubble that smells like fresh laundry. Why?” Skullgrumbler began to laugh. “You fool! You don’t even realize…” he squealed. “You’re facing east!”

“It’s whatever you want,” explained Magemaster Grampledog. “Magic is just whatever you want.” I knew he was speaking in riddles, but I couldn’t grasp his hidden meaning. “So the rules are…” Grampledog lit a sliver of smokereed. “No rules. You say some words and you wave a stick and whatever you want just happens. You don’t even need the stick.” His wisdom still eluded me. I stared into his face, trying to decipher what he was really saying. “No, listen.” Grampledog snapped his fingers and his desk turned into a pile of chicken nuggets. “I didn’t even know that would happen.” His hat then came alive and began to yodel. “It’s pandemonium,” he explained. “It’s complete nonsense.”

In my experience there are three kinds of fantasy magic novels:

우리는 하나

La estrategia ahora mismo es normalizarlo, pero la idea a posteriori es sacar beneficio de ello. Y no van a poder. Porque nada de lo que hace la IA a día de hoy realmente justifica pagar por ella.

Por favor compartir hasta la saciedad, es una epidemia.

Goblin behavior detected

the metamorphosux
#makeaterriblecomicday2025

Every fucking time lmao

A middle aged man helplessly holds an alligator’s tail as it steals his hat

In a sentence never before uttered by humans, I am delighted to share that an alligator stole my conservation instructor’s hat by jauntily walking into the water while wearing it 🐊

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Cerebro galaxia. Me encanta