I can’t see his true color if he only paints the way that he assumes that I like

I know I shouldn’t look, but sigh, it’s not a good sight with what happens. He’s successfully making me lose more and more interest and gain more and more disgust.

Left in desperation, grew spiteful about it. The door is slam shut. Your choice.

My words didn’t lie, they are just impatient and sensitive.

Shall he stick his fake courtesy up his virgin ass

Honestly my dreams were a bit more hopeful about it, but now that last hope is gone.

It is apparent that this whole time I meant nothing to him. That he just needed that exit that I gave him. That there is not a single grain of sympathy left for me. That he doesn’t care about me.

It was you with the countdown kill switch
And it was me with the blindfold on

Now I’m jealous. I thought I would matter more :/

Anyways, I don’t matter to his world anyways…

They only „act“ like they think of me for some kind of attention while I’m here actually thinking of them from time to time. It’s a drug. And I have to reduce my exposure to get off the addiction

Okay, but did I leave you with „a ton of guilt“ because you had feelings for me too and you missed the bus or just because you made someone feel bad? Because if it’s the latter, you can save your selfish guilt for sometime better.

Feeling better after I talked about it.

I’m hurt. That’s all

Now that I am going, he’s all over the place……. Like he did avoid me so much

That’s what I mean. The pain is only temporary for them. But for me, I carry it forever.

Panic Waves

Mood

open.spotify.com/track/2UE48m...

I make 30% the withdrawal responsible for the back and forth. Apologies

Talks about „attachment“ when it’s really just taking this situation to get attention. Otherwise he would’ve tried to get through to me.

But he didn’t and he never will. Because he doesn’t care about me, just about himself.

And now it’s turning again. He’s not sad because he lost me, but because it’s his fault someone is sad! He has his Lyef, he didn’t give a shit about me

Just knock on my door and I will open for you… just… knock… take action… I’m so fed up losing everything I love…

If only you would take the right steps towards me, show me the way you truly feel - and I will be yours…

Because whenever I made a step forward - told you that I like you or moved closer to you - you took some steps back, let me waiting, let me on read…
I wanted to be so close, but I felt like you didn’t want it, so I grew cold, thought you would only want a buddy friendship or less

All I needed was a sign… A little nudge towards you when I felt off… now we both have to live with the guilt until one of us approaches…

Here we go, more depressed rambles that no one should see