✧⭑ Schedule for April 20th - April 26th ⭑✧

Sadly, no stream for today.
I'm just too eepy to do it :(

I heard you people like a reckoning, so I added some more reckoning to your reckoning! It's time to play a new RPG and enter Kingdoms of Amalur: Re-Reckoning for the first time!

Note: Despite being called 100% Orange Juice, there is no orange juice in today's stream. Instead, join me, @calmarvt.com and @onetruemink.bsky.social do some anime-esque Mario Partying today!

*Key is AFK right now*

✧⭑ Schedule for April 13th - April 19th ⭑✧

If Skyrim has taught me anything, it's that I have an incredibly strong moral code and will never budge it at all!

...Unless a Daedric Artifact is involved, in that case, it's very easy to persuade me.

Remember how I was going to save Sumeru in Genshin Impact?

Yeah, I'm gonna have to head back there if I am actually going to do it. xD

-Serious talk over. This was just something I feel that I wanted out of my chest.- (19/19)

If I choose not to, then that will likely be the end of it and I will not indulge in the joke as best as I can.

(TL;DR: I am currently debating with myself whether I should continue the older women joke around me considering my bad experiences regarding the father figures in my life.) (18/19)

If I choose to continue, it will ultimately just be a minor recurring joke as to not go against my main vibe (Cozy, comfy and chill) and I will never go to older women VTubers just for the sake of the joke as that would just be disrespectful and awful to do. (17/19)

With all these things said, I would like to hear your thoughts on this and what I should do about this. (16/19)

So with these experiences in mind, I am contemplating whether I would embrace and even say that I like older women since there could possibly be bad experiences in my life that could have caused these feelings which may not be best to indulge. (15/19)

However, all of those experiences still ultimately contributed to me developing severe trust issues which are still with me to this day, as well as becoming a lot more clingy towards my mother though that has stopped once I moved away. (14/19)

While they have both grown up to be better people and would even apologize themselves to me for what happened, I was never truly there when those changes would happen and I never got to grow up when they were those better people. (13/19)

There were even two different instances where he would actually physically hurt me. (Though thankfully, both those times he would be reprimanded for what he did to me, but these still hurt me emotionally). (12/19)

Meanwhile, my step father had a rather bad tendency to be really loud and boastful about being the best, with him even trying to shut me and my step siblings up whenever we would get loud during an argument, despite him being very loud as well. (11/19)

Even afterwards, I still remember the time when he and I tried to meet up only for him to never show up, with him never explaining why it happened. (10/19)

And when I wanted to stay with my mom during christmas so she wouldn't be lonely, he tried to manipulate me by saying that I wouldn't get my presents from him if I stayed, which only made me mad and caused to stick to my mom permanently. (9/19)

During that time when I would swap parents weekly, he would sometimes lie that my mom was sick just so he could have me and my big brother for a longer period of time. (8/19)

My real father was a good parent but this would all change when one day, my mom discovered that he had been cheating on her with another woman, causing a rather violent incident and quickly divorcing afterwards. (7/19)

However, I have never truly indulged with the joke and after having some time to think about it, I am beginning to somewhat believe that this is all caused by bad experiences IRL. Specifically, it involves my father figures in my life and how they were rather bad growing up with them. (6/19)

And it would continute to get bigger when at a few occasions, I accidentally charmed two different VTubers who are both older women (I will not reveal who they are for their sake). (5/19)

This joke would only get bigger when I would play with the idea of me getting charmed by older women characters in the games I stream (Lisa from Genshin, Betty from Date Everthing, etc.) (4/19)

I ultimately focused on the "older woman" type because of how it subverted the popular anime trope of women over 25 being seen as undesirable back in the day when they got compared to christmas cakes. (3/19)

For those who don't know, I'm referring to the joke in my community that I am a fan/lover of older women. This all got started when my love of research random topics decided to seek out which types of Vtubers were popular and why. (2/19)

-Long and serious post ahead-
(TL;DR will be found below)
This is something I have been thinking about for a while now and I want to take this time to discuss that has been going on around me. (1/19)

Why didn't anyone tell me that Asexual Day was two days ago?! Guess I have to celebrate it late then with my Ace pals, Cal, Mink and Key by playing some more Dokapon Kingdom today!

✧⭑ Schedule for April 6th - April 12th ⭑✧

Happy Easter everyone! I may not have any bunny outfit on me, but I got these fancy ears along with some more Date Everything! Let's see who I will love today!

Boy, I was not expecting to encounter a HAPPINESS! cult in Honkai last time! Let's head back today to see if I can't put a stop to them before we are all consumed by HAPPINESS!