FAO @mixedknuts.bsky.social

you were kicked by a great man, and with a beautiful ivory leg

Belgium’s World Cup away kit, in blue, pink, and white

on running shoes, in blue, pink, and white

This colour scheme is everywhere now, and every time I see it, I think “trans people snapped with this one”

Is the manosphere making men incapable of love? w. Patrick van Straaten | ep. 10

Recently appeared on the Surprising Ethics podcast to talk about the manosphere, why it can’t make good on its promises, and the alternatives for young men feeling lost. Find it here:
open.spotify.com/episode/4xId...

I think Casual is a better comp for playing next to Kante tbh

A review I love of a movie I love, which also describes how I am currently experiencing Arsenal games

Garnacho rocking the come my lady come come my lady look in 2026

Very nice of you to say, but only plausible because no-one saw the real b-roll this week

Thanks to this I have been singing “circumcise my heart” in the style of Toni Braxton this morning

Thinking about this again and laughed out loud

Arsenal fans are like liberal politicians: they apparently don’t care as much about winning as they do about the other side’s (permanently unattainable) respect

At least when I miss a game I only have to catch up on 4 or 5 corners later on

First training walk for my Himalayas trek done. Walked a couple of hours, ate two scones, walked another hour and half, ate a doughnut. So long as there are bakeries at 3000m altitude should be good

Not to sound like a real skull-measurer but Sucic really does look like Brozovic out there

I am not watching the game, as stressful games make me a worse parent

The stewards who removed that flair are the first Tottenham employees to get a touch in the Arsenal penalty area since the 52nd minute

Ah, i was offended because “kids are sponges and they come out with stuff like this all the time” scepticism is very bad and stupid; a lot of Americans are offended because they read it literally

A few minutes of towel-work followed by a set-piece goal and an injury. The 25/26 PL experience

Would have been funny if Haaland got a second yellow for the pull-back

This is the only acceptable time for a commentator to say ”no-one wants to see this”

We may need to shift the conversation around Aston Villa from “can they sustain this” to “why would god favour a team from Birmingham”

Contra the weirdest people on your timeline, being normal around kids is a good thing in a person and probably a politician too

Wow that is something else

Patrick's Himalayas Trek Help Patrick van Straaten raise money to support Dove House Hospice

In 2027, I'm trekking the lesser Himalayas with my dad to raise cash for Dove House Hospice in Hull. I'll also be working on a community project in New Delhi.

I need to raise £4000 for the charity, and any donation is welcome! Hospices do amazing work! Thank you!

www.justgiving.com/page/patrick...

Steven Gerrard, these players’ names are written in the Roman alphabet my brother

some weeks you need the UCL Goals Show constant flow of dopamine

This Immaculate Body by Emma van Straaten | Waterstones Buy This Immaculate Body by Emma van Straaten from Waterstones today! Click and Collect from your local Waterstones or get FREE UK delivery on orders over £25.

My wife’s book, THIS IMMACULATE BODY, is out in paperback in the UK next week!

It‘s about a woman who becomes obsessed with the man whose flat she cleans. It’s funny, literary and has a disturbing, intoxicating narrative voice.

It’s available in the US as CREEP

www.waterstones.com/book/this-im...

This is probably only funny to me but Rich Piana dictated it to me in a dream

Me: I wonder if I should go back to creatine

Every fitness influencer: I drink 6 glasses of piss a day. Let me explain.

The NHS says that drinking more than 1.5 cups of piss may be bad for your health. So I recommend you start with 100ml of piss per kilo of body weight and build up slowly