Me: It's almost the end of the day. I think I might survive.

Brain: But you have to get up and do it all again tomorrow

Me: *dies

George Carlin - Daily Showers (1999) #shorts YouTube video by Classic Comedy

Because I still have an eleven-year-old sense of humor, this is the George Carlin bit I sometimes remember and randomly laugh about
youtube.com/shorts/d4oeC...

View out if the motel window with beach, driftwood, and ocean

Oceanfront room time

I wish I'd known how to be more aloof when I was younger. Instead, if someone attractive talked to me I turned into a lost puppy dog. Following them home, whining at their door.

a man is standing in a kitchen with his eyes closed and a quote about life . Alt: Matthew Broderick as Ferris Bueller saying "Life moves at you pretty fast. If you don't stop to look around once in a while, you could miss it."

I listen to podcasts at 90% speed. It's really helps the listening experience, but then everything in real life starts seeming like it's 10% too fast.

I sent you a plaster cast of my penis. Please respond.

Movies and TV led me to believe that I'd be encountering a lot more shipwrecks than I have. None so far, so really looking forward to the 3-hour tour that I have planned.

HOW DOES THE PREDICTIVE TEXT KNOW WHAT I'M GOING TO SAY??
GET OUT OF MY HEAD, WITCH!!

HOW DOES THE PREDICTIVE TEXT KNOW WHAT I'M GOING TO SAY??
GET OUT OF MY HEAD, WITCH!!

*as the congegations sits with their heads bowed, Pastor Jackson finishes his reading of a passage from Ezekial-

"And Mr. 9mm here, he's the shephard protecting my righteous ass in the valley of darkness..."

"I updated the OT segments for everyone except xx. I would need to be clairvoyant to know what hours they actually worked and, regrettably, I am not."

The best places to stay tend to be ones that not too many people know about so not about to ruin that by getting them into whatever is left of The Oregonian

Bag of tortilla chips with logo reading "La Cocina de Josefina Mexican Restaurant Style Tortilla Chips:

These chips are 10/10 and I may subsist on nothing but them going forward. Lighter and less greasy than Juantonio's.

Yes, the tree eating the boy too!

And I was already terrified of the closet at night

Turns out bullies are not good negotiators. Their only mode is "do what I want or I will bully you harder." Not exactly brilliant dealmaking.

A series of posts from journalist Mark Chadbourn reporting on the acceptance speech of Péter Magyar after Hungarian elections: Péter Magyar: "Our country wants to live again. It wants to be a European country again." Mark Chadbourn• @chadbourn.bsky.social • 24m Magyar's speech is powered. From a contact in the audience: "He's basically just asked all the puppets, all the supreme justices, all the heads of media, all the heads of the ministries to leave their jobs tomorrow and not wait to be fired." •.. Mark Chadbourn• @chadbourn.bsky.social • 22m He's announced that Hungary will join the European Prosecution Office so anyone in the country can be charged. Mark Chadbourn• @chadbourn.bsky.social • 21m Magyar: "No mercy, they will need to take responsibility for all their actions." ... Mark Chadbourn• @chadbourn.bsky.social • 20m Magyar says he's starting work with the EU and NATO immediately. "The EU doesn't have to worry anymore."

From new Hungarian Prime Minister Péter Magyar's acceptance speech tonight. This is the absolute BARE MINIMUM platform for any Democrat running for President in 2028.

Skillet of chicken, zucchini, bell pepper, onion, celery, green chile sauce

Navigating another pan seemed like a lot of work so the veg and meat became a one-skillet meal tonight.

Is ther anybody alive out there!!!???? YouTube video by David Sànchez

youtu.be/9BKT6NkYaYo?...
Bruce: Is there anybody alive out there?

In hell, you wake up to find that you can make it to work on time if you leave immediately and pay the $14 to park close. Then you start the workday, only to find that there is no coffee and every place to conceivable get any more is inexplicably closed.

I was really sick to my stomach last week and still can't drink coffee, which makes me question if I'm even really alive. Just kind of sleepwalking through the day.

I was just noticing that I never catch a movie on cable anymore. There used to be a whole genre of movies that I considered Saturday afternoon movies. They are the movies that you wouldn't want to see in the theater or rent, but if you happened on them on weekend TV they were enjoyable enough.

I like to aggressively say, "YOU have a good day," to people. If they try to say it back, I interrupt and say, "You must understand, it's over for me. I can only hope that YOU have a good day. My days are cursed to end in failure and misery."

So, Tom Cruise is diving to get into a submarine and get some thing. I don't really understand what's going on, but it's making a lot of whoom whoom noises that kick in the woofer. It sounds great, whatever it is that's happening.

Not proud of the fact that I was thinking about planes getting shot down a couple of days ago, but I was thinking that planes were going to get shot down a couple of days ago. Mainly because it was easily predictable. And therefore, probably avoidable if rational people were running things

When you're an old guy, you can just rip loud farts while standing at the urinal. I mean, I see old guys doing it all the time, so it seems like you can.

South Korea, France to upgrade ties as Macron trip overshadowed by Middle East crisis South Korean President Lee Jae Myung ‌and French President Emmanuel Macron are set to upgrade relations between the countries to a "global strategic partnership," Korea's Blue House said in a statemen...

We could be building alliances, but it seeeems... not so much. www.reuters.com/world/asia-p...

I was in 6th grade when the Challenger exploded. They actually called us in from recess to watch the footage. Like, "Hey kids, stop playing and come watch the teacher and the astronauts suffer a catastrophic explosion and die!"

It's like how they tell you that on your first day in prison you should pick a fight just to show that you're fearless. Then, of course, you back off and say, "You guys are going to have to help take care of this. I've already destroyed him. This is up to you now."