Many people don't know this but if you get shot with a Conway Twitty™ Tribute Pistol, you go straight to hell. It doesn't matter where on the body you're shot, or what kind of a person you were in life. Instant eternal damnation, no exceptions. I'm sorry if this is too scary for younger readers.

Fart Fartin

he’s real, i’ve met him in person, and you simply have to see his twitter account to believe it:

bsky.app/profile/caul...

What a guy

We do things a little bit different down here in the lone star state 🤠

angry dragon with impact font I NEVER want to take a tour of your new features

stop asking

lol at Dan Crenshaw losing
[looks into the other guy]
Ah,

If Crenshaw loses Pete Davidson gets to retract his apology

Professor X

Me hiding your reply

Shanghai Shrek

Iranian missile has the chance to do the funniest thing

Markwayne in the membrane

A suicidal, Italian bullfighter singing the Stone Roses: 🎶I wanna be a-gored🎶

Lake punch a train

Charlie Daniels hooting and hollering in his grave

2 hard drives in front of an open computer

About to upgrade the ol NAS

Definitely

Remember when everyone started to post on mastadon for like two days?

Grisly bear

Burt is bees?

Getting old rocks. I’m no longer just buying shirts from Old Navy or whatever. I’m ordering shit called “The Chester” now.

There’s no more powerful musician than someone with like 20 delay pedals.

Love to verify my email address

🎶Butt mogging on the zoomers,
Outside the tastee-freez🎶

HEGSETH: *points to general's ribbon bars* "What'd you get that one for? Fucking your mother?"

GENERAL: *sternly* killing vietnamese children

She lies and says she’s in love with him, don’t think he’s Fetterman.