#TheDarkSideOfSesameStreet Slimey the Worm ate RFKs brain.

#UrgeToLeaveHome join the Navy, and see the Moon.

#UrgeToLeaveHome and join the circus.

Right, my #UrgeToLeaveHome Short version: it's haunted.

My family will understand my sudden #UrgeToLeaveHome as, I assume, did all the others.

#FoodInFridgeInASongOrMovie The Substance

#FoodInFridgeInASongOrMovie Lettuce to Juliet

#FoodInFridgeInASongOrMovie One Burger, One Splotch, One Beer

#TheOnlyBigThingIHave nothing, until it's time to move, then there's always one thing you can't handle yourself.

#MakeAnythingSoundShakespearean Verily, thine mama is so cruel, that when thy dog didst shuffle off this mortal coil, she spake unto thee saying that it resided now in a fair arbor, because it didn't like you any more.

#MakeAnythingSoundShakespearean Thou dost sup from the cup of Venus like a hound lappest water from a puddle.

#MakeAnythingSoundShakespearean
A heedless jolthead of a friend doth make a fool of even the wisest man.

#BestMovieLineEver "Well, ma'am, if I see him, I'll sure give him the message."

#WhenMyBroomIsInTheShop I borrow a walking skeleton.

#WhenMyBroomIsInTheShop I have to ride a pitchfork.

#WhenMyBroomIsInTheShop I'll be there by boat or I'll be the there by goat.

#FoundInMyKitchenDrawers just the basics, because I only have one real kitchen drawer that opens. Once in awhile gadgets, I have to figure out where to look.

How I feel about you
#CameToMeOutOfTheBlue
My heart soars to the sky,
Like the world's biggest fly.

I've been working on one for years, but the final design #CameToMeOutOfTheBlue

#WhatIFindDodgyIs exaggerated marketing claims

#WhatIFindDodgyIs I know it's literally their job, but some government press secretaries can still stand out.

#WhatIFindDodgyIs announcements that raise obvious further questions.

Tequila Mocking Words

You basically just keep drinking tequila and mocking people until you start a fight.

#NewDrinkingGame

#NewDrinkingGame Do a shot every time Josie Wales kills somebody. The winner is anyone who's still conscious after an hour.

Beer Abby

After drinking a lot of beer, ask a stranger for advice.

#NewDrinkingGame

#YouMightBeGettingOldIf you read that an artist or entertainer is a "modern-day" version of somebody younger than you.

#YouMightBeGettingOldIf take your pick.

#YouMightBeGettingOldIf you blow more pop music questions than history questions when you watch Jeopardy.

#NewDrinkingGame if he says, "what," everybody yells, "say WHAT again," and takes a shot.

#ClumsyCatering Hebotchme