Yes

Lions don't have to tell you they are lions. They just are.

Donald Trump is the most corrupt, fascist, pedophile president in US history. And in his words, LIKE NO ONE'S EVER SEEN BEFORE.

No. I don't agree with editing out the offensive bits in old TV and movies.

Times change.

How are we going to understand who we are without knowing who we were?

Nobody will ever believe that Donald Trump is a Nazi rapist scumbag.

Because everybody believes that Donald Trump is a Nazi rapist scumbag.

My oldest cat, Georgia Oreo, holds grudges.

Chili-Mac, our 17 lb yellow boy, bit her tail in 2018.

She's still pissed about it and lets him know with a growl and a swat upside the head whenever he's near.

This guy made a huge career out of making fun of Show Business while in show Business.

Many people over the age of 50 think this wild and crazy guy is one of the greatest comedians of all time.

Many people younger than 50 don't get it or don't even know who he is.

Anybody remember when Republicans were all about truth, protecting families, integrity and financial responsibility?

Yeah. Me neither.

Secret Service is nervous about people who swore an oath to protect and defend the Constitution of the United States of America and MEANT it.

When you were 17, did you sleep in your girlfriend's closet and under her bed to hide from her dad, even though your car was parked outside?

Maybe.

You ever get halfway through reading something and realize it's a complete waste of Ti...

If 15 million illegals entered this country and voted in the 2024 election, how did Trump win?

90s food porn

"Hey there big fella. yeah, it’s me. I’ve got something hot tonight. Slow-dripped butter over a thick, juicy steak, edges seared just right. That first cut, juices flowing, you can almost feel it, can’t you? Oh, yeah. Go on, take a bite."

Please deposit $5 for 90 seconds of joy.

Sit UBU sit.
Good dog.

If the story begins with...

A long time ago
In a galaxy far, far away.

I'm in.

Disney can't kill it no matter how hard they try.

All these dying pets are breaking my heart. We get such a short time with them. 😞

I like to believe you will see them again one day.

Who do you think gets to help guide you to the light?

Your puppies and kitties, of course! All of them! 🕊️

Some mornings I wake up Grumpy, other mornings I just let her sleep.

Star Trek: The Next Denture Diaper Dumpster Dive.

Or

Star Trek: Picard.

When the wrong Robert Plant shows up at your house

Get your shit together. James

I don't care to hear about all of your frankensteined electronic garbage.

So you brought an old piece of electronics back to life. Whoopty freaking do. Tell us what you're going to do with it and how you plan to treat said Frankenstein garbage.

Otherwise you're the monster.

YA fiction but for older adults.

- but isn't that just regular fiction?

Oh no! It's still YA. The characters are all in their forties & still living in their parent's basements.

Mommy, I can't sleep. There's a Donald Trump under my bed.

(Dad, pumps shotgun)
Show me!

Yeah I've been to that movie. It's a real shit show

Me at the Gastroenterologist last fall as they wheeled me in for a colonoscopy.

"Do you know what you're here for today, sir?"

Me. "Uh. Boob Job?"

"Well we're only going to dig in your butt today. That okay?"

Me, disappointed sigh. "Yeah I s'ppose."

One of my clients, a landscape design firm. Just asked me if they should continue advertising with Gay PDX.

And I said, Fuck Yeah. That community is amazing!

And if it pisses off any of your older, rich clientele, even better.

Fuck them!

You always took the best poop at Grandma's house in California.

Avocado green carpet surrounded the avocado throne, complete with crocheted avocado seat cover.

The avocado toilet paper matched the avocado bathtub and avocado sink.

Real avocados & tomatoes for lunch.

And the Best. Poops. Ever!