if the us government actually comes forward with real pictures of aliens, dead or alive, i will post ass. this is totally not a bit

we are NOT being medically gaslit today folks! not happening!!

oh so now ALL balls have to be curved?? DISCOURSE ALERT!!!!!

god fucking damn it who could’ve seen this coming

well FUCK YOU TOO!!!! SCUM OF THE EARTH!!!

i think everyone who drives a big lifted truck should be forced to drive a ford fiesta for a year. and vice versa. both are sinners in the hand of an angry god and deserve to be reminded of that

is everything homestuck

I want to see kink at Toyotathon

i feel like i’m on this app just the right amount. just enough to get the highlights, not enough to get involved in any of the discourse

but shorts seller. i am going into battle and need only your strongest shorts

can i have them. i will pay with my soul if necessary

tiktok chiropractors:

i love when i scroll far enough on this app and it just has a stroke. it’s just like me

extremely fucked up that i graduate next year. fucking insane

honestly good for her. we need more old people doing crazy shit

call my phone the bleak reality of retirement in america the way it’s far too old to still be working

i’m gone for like three days and shit hits the fan. what the fuck is going on

i think having a week where i go insane every few months is really good for me actually

walter white doesn’t have SHIT on me (i killed a fly without falling 20 feet from a ledge)

trying to normalize saying “i really fucked the dog on that one”

woah… just like joseph stalin…

shoutout to my mom

fucked up that one of my exes from high school just got married. absolutely fucking wild

coolest thing alcohol does to me is it makes me funnier. i swear to god it’s not because everyone else around me is also drinking

getting the urge to watch evangelion again and that’s how you know i’m doing extremely well

app immediately had a stroke after i posted this. i love this place

this site is fascinating because why in gods name did it give me an option to translate this

>open reddit app
"oh yeah that doesn't work anymore"
>open twitter app
"oh yeah"
>open bluesky app

i don’t care about horoscopes or star signs unless they say something nice about me. then i care a little bit