dude looks like he wets his comb with his mouth

Apparently we’ll do it dead too

Alex Jones is truly one of the most evil people alive. He's lucky he lives in an era where the punishment for behavior like his is losing your website and not thumbscrews.

the greatest "Infowars Parody" was adult swim's TruthPoint, invented by @dril.bsky.social and myself

we've retained the IP, so the onion guys are allowed to help us revive that program. would love to work with them 😉

With the help of the Sandy Hook families, The Onion has reached a long-awaited deal to take over InfoWars.

We've enlisted the help of @timheidecker.bsky.social, who will be InfoWars' Creative Director.

Please stand by for more.

*doctor’s head

this rules

45 years and counting of Madonna Discourse which surely proves she’s overrated

you can’t title a movie ‘season of the witch’ without folks getting confused

me and the boys on the USS Abraham Lincoln eating boiled boot leather and sharing stories about the most Realistic Pussy we've ever seen

now Big Fan if you haven’t seen it

when the tarp is blue

real odd duck of a film, you can feel the execs saying “can you make it more slasher-y and less, uh, a musical?”

Friendly Fyre Festival

Get his ass.

worked at a place that not only played the same soul songs, but in the *same order* at the *same time* every day. I actually called Muzak and they changed the order. anyway, I hate reggae much worse and can only imagine

for me the time they switched “sweet caroline” from neil diamond to jimmy buffett — without dave realizing — is the one (fun fact: I played that ep for my now ex-wife, she became a fan of the show, and currently lives with dave)

leo_pointing_gif at pennsauken, where I grew up eating pork roll and panzarottits

ah yes what a cool pool

HOW?! SHOULDN’T YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE BE THE ONE *I’M* THINKING OF?! (wanted to see how I felt writing dumb shit like that, not good)

When It Happens, they should get Carl Lewis to sing the national anthem

JIGSAW: all your life you've really drowned people to death in urine by being late all the time
VICTIM: boy I don't like where this is going

The Pope Sucked Me Off???

“oh you are issuing a CLEAR invitation to the hotel yorba”

harp and schwarbs saw this, you’re welcome

phillies hitters lookin like doo doo

is it bad when your 9-spot hitter’s batting average is FIFTY POINTS higher than everyone else