"It's like an ad for a fuckin weight loss center. Before, and *way* before. Heh heh heh."

i know writers who use AI and they're not writers

Is a wine tasting the only socially acceptable place to immediately spit out your drink?

[guy who's only read one poem about Jesus carrying us through challenging times:] Getting a lot of Footprints in the Sand vibes from this

Cereal box copy when I was a kid: Lucky Charms, They're Magically Delicious!™

Cereal box copy now: Own your boundaries and protect your peace with golden grahams

I used to hate hearing the sound of my own voice. Now I can't get enough of it.

Very excited to have found a place at the airport that has “chef-inspired menus.” Love to eat food inspired by… the idea of making food.

It's that machine you pour your pennies into at the grocery store

Image of the Yeti in the skiing Windows game SkiFree eating the player

Breaking: Tragedy at the Winter Olympics

Mamdani Targets ‘Unusable’ AI Chatbot for Termination Reporting from The Markup and THE CITY exposed how the bot, touted by the Adams administration, repeatedly served up false and damaging information.

Mamdani Targets ‘Unusable’ AI Chatbot for Termination

friend of mine is an undocumented immigrant and has been hiding in Melania theaters bc he knows people assume no one is in there

Maybe that needs to happen a couple times so the rest of them start paying attention

Don't get me wrong, I watched that shit

They really tried to convince us that Sons of Anarchy was prestige television lmao

I knew something was off about that commercial

Aw man, I appreciate it!

Thank you Brian!!

Congrats on the new book @goldsteinraw.bsky.social.

Going in nose first.

I've Heard Some Wild Stories About That Band I've Heard Some Wild Stories About That Band [Goldstein, Ben] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. I've Heard Some Wild Stories About That Band

Today's the release day for my self-published novella, "I've Heard Some Wild Stories About That Band"!

It's "Looper" meets "Amadeus" meets "1991: The Year Punk Broke," and if you're a fan of '90s rock and time-travel, you'll love it 😄

Pick up a paperback copy here: www.amazon.com/Heard-Some-W...

After my fourth one of these, I replace the flannel jacket koozie with a sheer bra-and-panty set

if elon just hired an Inverse Jester (guy hired to listen to his jokes and pretend they're funny) we could solve every problem except how to keep the inverse jester from killing himself

rfk jr moaning in olivia nuzzi's ear

Olivia Nuzzi's 'American Canto': Read the Exclusive Excerpt She flamed out and she faded away. 'Vanity Fair'’s West Coast Editor returns to the written word to survey scorched earth.

women are always saying “lord grant me the confidence of a mediocre man.” ok well he did. now what. is the world a better place? look at what you’ve wrought.

Contractor in our basement is blasting some music I can only describe as "What if Blueshammer from the movie Ghost World was a real band"

This is one of the things I hate most about modern capitalism. The idea of making money has been fully peeled away from delivering any kind of goods or services that people would want to pay money for.

The guy knows less ball than anyone who's ever held the office.

Good. Take his stapler too. Move him into a storage room.

Joyce Carol Oates @Joyce... 17h O So curious that such a wealthy man never posts anything that indicates that he enjoys or is even aware of what virtually everyone appreciates— scenes from nature, pet dog or cat, praise for a movie, music, a book (but doubt that he reads); pride in a friend's or relative's accomplishment; condolences for someone who has died; pleasure in sports, acclaim for a favorite team; references to history. In fact he seems totally uneducated, uncultured. The poorest persons on Twitter may have access to more beauty & meaning in life than the "most wealthy person in the world."

Elon Musk ' @elonmusk X.com Oates is a liar and delights in being mean. Not a good human.

lol she got his ass and he knows it

My latest for @cbsnews.com: Yes, I Know What 'Arabic Numerals' Are — And I Still Don't Want My Children Learning Them