I'm just relieved nobody is talking about how I said I bought a house in Clacton, then admitted it was in the name of my girlfriend, Laure Ferrari, even though she couldn't afford £885,000, which conveniently meant I avoided £44,000 in tax.
Please don't share.

In a nutshell. 😊

AFC Bournemouth are a really well drilled team, I saw them at Old Trafford last year and said the same!!

Last few seasons has seen a really poor goal difference, now we're at plus 13!!

I backed Ruben, but, his biggest fault was not playing Kobbie, the lad is a top player and can adapt to any formation!!

Well, does Carrick get the job now?? Putting it out there.

That was a Fergie result!!

When we have to dig in, and defend as a unit, we're brilliant, that's a brilliant team performance tonight, wasn't pretty, but just what we needed, I love my club!!!

Cucerreha has taken over from Azpeluceta as the biggest shithouse in football!

What a goal, let's carry on in the second half, would be nice to get an early second goal to kill these pensioners off!!

Macoist, fuck off, Heaven never moved his planted foot, Palmer kicked him, watch the game!!!

Tough game tonight, we've got a poor recent record at Stamford Bridge, but all we cask is that the players give everything for our red shirts, they do that, then I for one wont complain!
Let's put these Pensioners to bed with a horlicks!!
Come on United !!!

Congratulations to Coventry City on getting promoted back to the EPL, their fans have been through so much over the years, im pleased for them!

So off we go again tomorrow, the start of a new cricket season, my sixth as an umpire, hope everybody, whether playing or supporting has a fantastic season, and please remember, whatever happens, it's a game we all love and supposed to be enjoyed!

Deary me, these Palace kids like to fall over!!

Watching Bayern v Real, blimey, if we're in the Champions League next season, we're going to have to up our game!!!

It is a profound irony when the nation under attack feels more empathy for the attacker's citizens than the attacking government itself.

So Maguire gets an extra game for showing his disappointment with his sending off, I hope the EPL are now going to set the same low bar for other alleged offenders!!!!

On tomorrow's todo list!

If you return unwanted Reform local election leaflets to their party headquarters using their free post address, then it will cost the party £2.50 per envelope.

Please don’t share this information; it could cost Nigel Farage a fortune.

Watching Howard Webb on SSN, telling us that pushing offences depends on the speed the attacker is moving!!! What an absolute load of bollox!!!!

This is exactly the level of stupidity we need to get Reform into power.

Areola leaving AFCB at the end of the season, will his name now be thrown into the hat for United??

Fuckin get beat by pudding eaters!!!

Seskos got to look after the ball better!

Fuckin stupid!!!!! Like we needed that!!!!

Not sure what to say, I would say the biggest loss to the team tonight is big Harry, Calvert-Lewin playing like a prime Duncan Ferguson, but I think, and im not sure im saying this, but Dalot has to come on for Mazroui! Ugarte must be hooked as well!!
No changes, im gobsmacked!!!

HTF do we get this twat reffing us again????

Would love to beat these tonight, keep them in the mix for relegation, pity about Kobbie though, he's been brilliant since coming back into the ream!
Come on United!!!

I reckon Justin Rose is going to win the Masters!!