This reads the same both before and after the Onion takes over.

Ah I see the Times has fired up the ol' conservative commentator is sorry generator again.

The real problem with the Democratic Party is that it doesn’t actually stand for the stuff—or people—it claims to.

Because it caters to big money.

And the result is that it doesn’t fight. Look at Schumer and Jeffries and tell me with a straight face that the problem isn’t inside the house.

NGL: I would absolutely find a glimpse of humor in it if the "end times" actually started by the US nuking Israel over this moment

If he were allowed to run he'd smoke the field in '28

Great Melvin Seals & JGB show last night and took today off

Grateful Dead themed show, 4/20 off and I will remain entirely sober throughout (20 years now). 'Cause I'm such a pig with drugs and booze

Sure, it's a good thing but feels like an insult to a holiday I fully support

Smoke for me please!

I can come to no conclusions that make any sense other than that the caution was intentional and that is why we are where we are

Citigroup and Rahm Emanuel

Dems are masters of turning victories into defeats

Oligarchy

(Just make sure you ask a person, not AI because AI will say "nothing to see here")

Only if you pull yourself up by your bootstraps first

Absolutely. They must be shunned from society until they can start to realize that the real problem is their own bigoted belief system, not the targets of that system

I'm not joking when I say mRNA technology is more important than "AI" and it's a tragedy we're throwing billions into one while our government is aggressively defunding the other.

Americans have not been at war with Iranians for nearly 50 years. Religious zealots in the US government have hated, feared and wanted to destroy the religious zealots in the Iranian government. And vice versa.

Innocent people die when the religious go to war.

JD's response: "I know you are but what am I?"

To the others in the room: "See how I totally Alphaed him there? Did you see? Did you see?"

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Palantir has always needed to be destroyed

Peter Thiel needs to be run out of society. As does Curtis Yarvin and all his pyschofascist followers. Put them all on an island and let them Lord of the Flies themselves to death

Police use gas and rubber bullets on activists at beagle facility in Wisconsin Law enforcement rebuffs protesters at breeding and biomedical research farm amid attempt to remove dogs

Very overt display of ACAB...
www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026...

SCOTUS Hit by Bombshell Leak of Secret ‘Shadow Docket’ Memos The Supreme Court has increasingly relied on ruling on high-stakes policy through the “shadow docket.”

I mean...no shit? Way to keep up so quickly with what has been happening since '16 when Leonard Leo greenlit it...

www.thedailybeast.com/scotus-hit-b...

Their attempts to cheat are going to get crazy the closer we get to a GOP wipe out. And no one in government is going to be able to stop it; a majority are complicit

Pope Leo’s target is bigger than Trump. He’s rebuking the ‘MAGA Jesus’ | CNN Politics If you think the clash between Pope Leo XIV and President Donald Trump is just a war of words that will pass when the news cycle moves on, you are most likely mistaken.

So long past time for a leading religious figure to point out how absolutely anti-Christ the far right version of Christianity has been for decades. I'm not Christian but clearly the racist, bigoted, prosperity gospel, conquering Christ they use is insane

www.cnn.com/2026/04/19/p...

Mamdani shouldn't hang with losers like Barack

Is he Jesus or merely the Jesus Whisperer?

Oh what fucking courage....

Article should be titled, "I'm in the manosphere"

We really need to stop analyzing SCOTUS as a legitimate institution that has EVER been about calling strikes and balls

From the start he was told this was what his role was supposed to be if he ever got enough justices on his side

The difference from a Federalist Society Bush judge to a Federalist Society Trump judge is not a large one. Leonard Leo chose them both

“You gotta learn AI or get left behind!” is a bit galling given that the entire purpose of AI seems to be to steal our work and fuck our brains and shit up the planet, which is to say, its GOAL is to leave us all behind. That, in order to make its owners rich.

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Easy to tell by the not so subtle far right biases displayed...

Kinda low key love how this new brand of Catholic want to replace the pope with the antichrist