a person wearing a pair of yellow rain boots is standing in a puddle . ALT: a person wearing a pair of yellow rain boots is standing in a puddle .

M: I've never been proposed to in a fountain before, Frank.
F: I like your yellow wellies
M: Thanks. Did you bring the €5?
F: Only after me for my money. I knew it! 😅

Puddy: What's going on over there with you and, uh, Vegetable Lasagna? Elaine: This guy? He's an idiot. he doesn't mean anything to me. Vegetable Lasagna: I can hear you. / S09E01 The Butter Shave

The oldest known image of Keith Richards, published around 1140 AD ...

a man is proposing to a woman in front of a fountain in a park . ALT: a man is proposing to a woman in front of a fountain in a park .

Most people I speak to on social media are American, so I keep forgetting that you're not. Wow, European, beautiful and a funny tweeter! I am THIS close to proposing, M. Now, if we could just find a fountain 🤔

Why isn't the Morse Code for RUN…

Dash Dash Dash?

People who take naps are the real heroes. It takes courage to wake up twice in one day.

This post has no meaning, but you’ll like it because it’s free.

I would've given you $5 for this tweet 🤔

I checked Kelley Blue Book today for my car's value, & they asked me if the tank was full or empty…

"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men...

🙋💚

The ambulance you'll need, if you eat those sausages!

Apparently the serving size for chips is 10 chips

Listen, I eat 10 chips while deciding if I even want chips

I've just realised: what if Mo Salah's Sideshow Bob hairstyle was the source of all his power? 🤔

#LFC
#mosalah

Yeah, not too bad. I'm sorting through a couple of things at the mo.
Glad to hear you're well 👍🙋

We all see the world differently...

Daniel LaRusso gets a job removing bikini lines.

WAX ON. WAX OFF.

You, alright, M?

(Me) Jesus, could I have your apartment for the next 3 days? After all, you won't be needing it!

#GoodFriday

Lt. Columbo (Peter Falk) Roasts Frank Sinatra (1978) YouTube video by Ccvanl4

youtu.be/3_UN2S8SasY?...

This was 10 minutes of him unscripted & is some of the funniest tv I've ever witnessed. Enjoy, Stella 👍😁

Damn! I lost a lot of money on that bet. I felt certain this was the opposition's year.

van Gogh 👍

Sometimes life feels too shitty, then I check Bluesky and remember it’s universal

Remember when I said it could get worse?
Yeah, I undersold it

Crazy

Money Making Idea #163

A Speak-Your-Weight toilet seat.

There's a rule in television: Never go back. It doesn't works.
I just watched Peaky Blinders: The Immortal Man. It was slow-paced tedium & bore little to no resemblance to the brilliant tv show.
Never go back. It doesn't work 😔

My wife and I have decided that we don't want to have kids. We're going to tell them tonight at supper.

It's just been confirmed -

Chuck Norris has been appointed Head of Security in heaven