I can see the tabloid headlines tomorrow already:

Keir STAMMER

Calls to resign as PM flounders during Commons scrutiny

Had one of my best nights out ever in there. Day 1 of a stag do and we were meant to do a crawl. Never left the place 😂

The capsule splashing down onto the water with the three red and white parachutes above it

Splashdown! Vehicle is stable and upright. “A perfect bulls-eye splash for Integrity and its four astronauts!” #Artemis

Sat here beaming at the NASA Twitch stream. What an achievement.

Okay, but rent being so high isn't caused by them. How about tackling that extortionism?

It doesn't matter if it's £100 saved a month on energy or rent. It's having the money back in our pockets that does.

www.itv.com/news/2026-04...

"Humanity's next great voyage begins" #Artemis

a man in a suit and tie is smiling and says space ! Alt: Tim Curry saying SPACE as part of his role in Command & Conquer: Red Alert 3, playing a Soviet general.

Fucking buzzing to see the Artemis II launch.

Happy Birthday! Just remember - you still look great. Don't fret over a number <3

Brennan Johnson just Spursed that right up 🙃

Cymru vs Bosnia-Herzegovina time 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿

Got woken up by a car backfiring so violently outside I genuinely thought it was gunfire.

Mmmm. Nothing like a nauseous start to the day.

HG Oven, Grill & BBQ Cleaner Spray is your best friend. Well, it might not be, but it could be.

We said we would replace Labour and take the fight to Reform.

And that's exactly what's happening.

We need you.

Join.greenparty.org.uk

10 minutes of washing it away and 90% is gone, so when it's dry I'll mould spray it and gg, but fuck me it's irritating renting.

I will say - the property management folks are great. Really quick to fix things in the apartment. But this is a larger problem with the building's historical condition.

Had some mould issues in the bedroom walk-in wardrobe last year. Outside wall. Maintenance fixed it with some mould-proof damp coursing.

Hadn't treated a couple of bits around the same windowside wall. Turns out it's quite extensive in hidden spots 🙃

Washed it off and will spray the remnants asap.

A big weekend starts very shortly...

Today: away match, 11 a side, up in Moss Side with Proud Baggies. Taking 13 lmao. We're going to get mauled.

Tomorrow: away game with the WBA Women vs Halifax in Bradford. Bugger of a coach trek north to Myra Shay. Hopefully we get revenge for the last game.

Kristi Noem sacked as US homeland security secretary in 'culmination of many unfortunate leadership failures' A White House official said Ms Noem's "drama... sadly overshadowed and distracted" from the president's agenda.

AHAHAHAHAHAHA get fucking rekt

news.sky.com/story/kristi...

There we go. Carrick's first defeat as United manager. He's gotten a tune out of them more than Amorim, but a scuffed squad is still a scuffed squad.

Hopefully it'll act as a wake-up call to players so we don't fall out of the CL places, but who knows.

Matchday. 1st weekend of 2 on the bounce where I'm actually playing, rather than commentator or photographer.

A smidge nervous tbh. Age and burnout are a handbrake, and my brain still thinks I'm 24, fit as a fiddle, and god's gift.

Just hoping I do decent and don't embarrass myself or the team.

Dear @lucympowell.bsky.social,

I have enjoyed our exchange of letters about which of our parties is best placed to stop Reform. Hannah Spencer MP and I trust that you agree that this question has now been resolved once and for all.

Thanks,
Zack Polanski

Ian Huntley's been attacked in prison?

Oh no, what a shame.

NEGUSE: AG Bondi, that man works for you now, right? The man in that video from J6 yelling 'kill them!' at cops. His name is Jared Wise.

BONDI: He does work for us, yes. I believe he was pardoned

NEGUSE: And you expect hard-working police officers to believe you take law enforcement seriously?

Then you'll see distraction techniques will be abandoned and people start throwing others under the bus or fleeing the ship. MTG already bailed on MAGA and Trump for that reason. The shit will inevitably hit the fan - it's just a question of when, and how violent will reprisals be.

The second the Epstein stuff resurfaced to the top of the news agenda the US went in on Venezuela.

When it floated back up, they're leaking that there's going to be strikes on Iran.

We need to make it not sink at all. This has to dominate social media, and in turn it'll dominate the news.

In a sense it feels bad to share all of these posts about Epstein and Mandelson and whoever else, but this is a vile scandal of the greatest proportions, covered up by an egomaniac US President amongst others internationally, and featuring key individuals in different regimes passing state secrets.

exactly. this is not difficult.

as.ft.com/r/58ed1b23-d...

a uk government cabinet member, bankrolled by Epstein and possibly others over major fiscal UK gov policies is quite the scandal for the ages.

Damn. Yeah, GP laughed at my initial 50 question test because I scored 47. 18 month wait has just kept on increasing as I seemed to inch closer to my turn. Luckily work are chill for now, but I worry that if I burn out again I'll be in the shit.

And still no assessment?

I don't struggle with small talk but otherwise... yikes. 3 years on the Birmingham NHS waitlist for my ADHD assessment though, so maybe in a decade I'll have that + an autism assessment.