He is not in a hat so, I shall not.

Crimes against fashion.

I know where your coming from but they only describe the individual quad-adjoined parts as ‘fingers’ so I was conflicted

That’s almost worth getting my hand-stitched brogues out for.

Last night I had chilli con carne with grated cheese and sour cream on which means I consumed the Trifecta of Cow. I was also wearing a leather codpiece but I don’t know what the ‘4’ of Trifecta is so that’ll have to do.

Sounds a bit Italian to me…

‘And that was the last family wedding I was invited to, dear reader’

21:12 is Rush o’clock, always.

Bearing in mind no-one reads the label on instant coffee that explicitly says ‘Use hot, not boiling water’, you may be the only person in humanity who makes instant coffee correctly. I haven’t checked the side of Smash instant mash potato to see what you do with that though. Do your own research.

There should be a Special Kit-Kat ‘Hand’ edition with a 5th, fatter, shorter ‘finger’ on the end.

More than two finger’s a fist.

Two many individual punch-kicks-throws in one shot each stiched together, not like thr brilliant set pieces and sequences you used to get with Chan,Li,Yen,Hung et al.

Airwolf *drops Oberheim OB-8*

“UXpert”?

But will they go south of the river at this time of night?

It can’t be that simple, I’ve had emails from recruitment agents on two different occasions saying ‘Hi &name’ or ‘Dear &firstname&lastname’.

At some point when motor journalists kept heckling Rolls-Royce to divulge what horspower their 6.75l V8 developed, they would always discreetly answer ‘an elegant sufficiency’ as mere numbers were uncouth and vulgar. It’s a good answer to keep handy in your lexicon of vagueness.

My strongest Kung Fu is the Facepalm technique.

How about helmet safety helmets? Or, jockstraps as they’re also known.

I’m not bad at accents now but in my young days my ‘Welsh’ started in Rhyl and by the end of the sentence it was somewhere south of Calcutta.

For Historical Importance at the top is the old chemist where Sir Humphrey Davy used to work. And if anyone needs to go to hospital, Penzance is a pleasant experience compared to the grubby mayhem of Treliske. The Spaghetti House on the front might still be OK but I haven't been there since 1992.

Ah Penzance where I had my first honeymoon. When I discovered you really didn't need a week to discover all Penzance had to offer. I suppose it's long gone now but my favourite shop was over the road and up Market Jew Street on the other side. Sold jokes, bongs, crossbows and dildos.

This still down in Cornwall?

Here is one if you wish otters were more like Wolverine

Here is an Otter mask that you can print out and laminate for the pleasure of your children or sexual partner.

It does sound like the crappy tone-deaf contestants that used to audition for the X-Factor and get bounced on entry for having no talent yelling ‘YOU’LL SEE SIMON COWELL I’LL HAVE A NUMBER 1 ALBUM BY CHRISTMAS’ as security manhandles them out.

Did they get Smugglers’ Fingers too?

Bite the top off and spit it out you big jessie.