I need help. I’m a creative strategist | copywriter, and I’m looking for work. It's boring, I know. Sorry. My portfolio is here: gregtommills.myportfolio.com. Thank you.

if you work in #humanresources or #recruiting you are a fucking piece of shit. you’re like a #healthinsurance executive at this point

the Aaron Sorkin Masterclass is different from what I expected

it just gets more satisfying

step one: seduce a live raccoon

GREAT NEWS! I'm available for work.

Just wrapped a project. If you need a creative thinker who is ME — I’m available and I’m your dude.

gregtommills.myportfolio.com

caillou, but scored by angine de poitrine

D. J. Khalid! John Cage, y’all! 4’33”!

trump should release the epstein files to distract from oil prices

New episode dropped! Hella Ups and Downs! All about Northern Amusement Parks!

New episode dropped! Hella Ups and Downs! It's all about Northern California Amusement Parks! open.substack.com/pub/itsjustt...

Noted Irish hard man and poet Phil Lynott wishes you a bountiful Saint Patrick’s

I think suing aliens would be hard, because their shiny jumpsuits would do a lot to get the jury on their side.

(Tied to a chair in a empty room, lit by a single bare lightbulb)

"I'M TELLING YOU, I CAN'T REMEMBER."

"Well, we do have a certain tool for helping scum like you remember things. Officer... fetch the MADELEINE."

give a man a fish he will eat for a day. give a man fish dna and you will create an abomination that will beg you “please kill me” from its tank in the back of an illegal lab.

"Scamper! Scamper for your king, o spaniels!" -- King Charles I

Suspect is a white male, wearing Apple Bottom Jeans, boots with the fur.

solids, liquids, gasses, yeah. all good. but why not expand our horizons? eat delicious plasma. whip up a refreshing Bose-Einstein Condensate smoothie! nibble on a slice of Neutron Star Matter! all it takes is imagination and a supercollider to prepare fun nutritious snacks!

Hella Foggy, Episode 10: Hella Animated The newest episode dropped, y'all.

Hella Foggy, Episode 10: Hella Animated
Pixar, the Bay Area’s animation scene, Greg’s new mic that barely works, kelp forests, Olympic gold for Alysa Liu, and Wayne talking about Star Wars for… a while. open.substack.com/pub/itsjustt...

Theory: Trump read Gravity's Rainbow and now thinks missiles can help with his boner issues.

dad! i made a tesseract!

why don’t you make a tesserclean room??

Playing the hottest hits of the 80s, the 70s, the Age of Steam, the Iron Age, the Interwar Period, the Jurassic, the Plank Epoch, the Age of Reason, and the 90s.

"Imagine" is a dumb song. Just cheap slop.

Australian Vowels:
A
E
I
Ouruagh
U

Honestly? I’d actually love to be at a feast with a ghost. Sounds like a vibe.

my friend worked at (i think) Fat slice so he got to “know” Larry (can one know the north wind?). one day, my friend was in the city down by the powell cable car thingie and he saw Larry. “What are you doing out here Larry?” larry (shy, smiling): “you know… rare.”

him and his 90 kids

i forgot that you’re a cal weirdo