it was the worst of times, its was the wow somehow it keeps getting worse of times

There shall only be melancholic music in my ears all day and evening long until conditions improve

I’m always trying to find the perfect balance between wanting to be included and wanting to be left alone.

everything is a draft if your delete game is tight.

Somewhere along the way the line blurred from crazy to this is fucken nuts.

Great in a crisis. Falls apart at the smallest inconvenience.

Even if we had money, I would still want our first date to be a swing set, cuz I wanna hear you laugh like that.

All my galls are mitigated.

Soooo good. Also, Mads is my pretend bf 🥰

The Apocalypse Now helicopter scene but instead of playing Ride of the Valkyries it’s playing the theme song to Sanford and Son

I know an old lady who swallowed a fly. I don’t know why she swallowed a fly. Perhaps there will be a coup.

[at the park with moms and kids]
[5 yo girl runs over and rips out the heart of another kid]
-Me to the parent next me
*That kid is gonna be POTUS someday.

Your entire life is a vague memory, a whispered existence. Five cent scribblings on gas station bathroom walls are your bible.

Life's all about choice and today I can't decide if I should deep clean my kitchen or throw myself into an active volcano.

I’ve been taking care of myself(non pervertedly.)

Need to uncrumple myself. That is not a metaphor.

my girlfriend just said "i'm fine" then added "just forget about it" so now i have to create a new identity and relocate to another country

in the background of the violence of my heart plays a love song

It takes me approximately 4.75 hrs to get my hair up into an effortless messy bun.

The top corners have their waves on point

From the packet?

Motion to combine February and March into one month and call it Ferch.

You have to admit it’s fucking scooters that half the country feels threatened by the gentle and universal truths of Mister Rogers. Anyhoo, back to the asbestos mines

Never going to give you up
Never going to let you down
But I am going to run around
And summon the demon that is going to flay the flesh from your bones before I desert you

I wonder if I’m unhappy enough to start being funny again. I think I might need one more little push

difficult times call for stronger stuff so I will be selling rags pre dipped in gas to huff advertised as mikes hard oxygen

you actually died three years ago and your brain has been kept nominally alive spouting gibberish in a complex micro-blogging simulation

What was Gumby? Like, an eraser?