Client's car overheated and barfed coolant all over a parking lot. Show up, put some water in to see where it comes out, none comes out. Run car couple minutes, put more water in, takes less than a gallon total, still none coming out. Look at giant puddle where it leaked in first place, confusion

I would like to make the strong nuclear force 2% stronger

I love how baby birds are all like }:

The instant someone goes to buy an infinity pool, all of their assets should be seized and they should be deported to wherever currently has the lowest purchasing power parity

You know they're gonna chase people out into the Everglades to eaten and say they escaped

They always talk about planting seeds for trees whose shade you will never know, but any land where I could realistically plant that seed is going to be gone by the end of my life. Definitely literally, and probably metaphorically as well

Oh wonderful, Rutte is a ghoul, it turns out. Disgusting

I should be able to buy refrigerant and cigarettes in the same place

Y'all ever read about an individual death in otherwise much larger historical event and it's just so sad that it makes you cry?

The money isn't real what the fuck is point of being conservative with it

"Friendly reminder that-" *proceeds to say the most insufferable and/or inane words ever uttered

No no no, I don't wanna book on how to train YOUR dragon, I want a book on how to train MY dragon

I miss feeling the rumble of a starting helicopter engine through my feet

THEYVE MADE 7 BLACK OPS GAMES????

SEVEN??????

Coffee is like chocolate but evil

*any new shiny thing happens with AI*
"OK but can you fuck it?"

OK, but seriously, who is Ground News actually for

Man, sometimes the hardware store guys DO have good ideas. Or at least we'll see lol idk spray foam in the heater housing SEEMS like it might work

Oh, I fucking love this

Baltimore got one of the wildest goddamn accents, cause they took a Philly accent and mixed it with a southern accent and gave it some more mushiness 

Democratic politicians do not have contempt for Republicans and that is the incorrect way to be

Democrats need to find a candidate as stupid as Trump, that much is clear

Yeah yeah, just put the nonbianussy in the bag

U kno a harbor freight hate to see me comin

If journalism isn't challenging power, it's not journalism

I personally don't want to be led by people who will be shielded from the consequences of their leadership by dying of old age

Don't forget NAFTA, which could've been great had any of the required investment follow up been made. Can't forget NAFTA in a Clinton hate thread lol

god the Clintons were fucking terrible

Me after eating a bag of Doritos at four in the morning

My cult of personality can beat up your cult of personality

OK, but on the real though people like Tim Pool and Matt Walsh are gonna have to be tried on capital charges