Today is #EarthDay, makes you think…

is this something that happened by accident or did somebody planet…

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I have finally beaten my 'Tag' addiction, but I must admit it was touch and go there for a while

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The Wife's Birthday is in 2 days, and she wants something with 'a lot of diamonds in it'

She's going to love this pack of playing cards

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Hark! What dulcet sound is that...

Why, ’tis the first housefly of Spring, dementedly head butting every square inch of window except the wide open section through which it gaily entered the premises a mere ten effing seconds ago

Yet another duplicated word! Wordle I'm disappointed

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Nobody seems to be mentioning that Boris Johnson failed his security vetting and Theresa May still made him Foreign Secretary. Then the Tory members made him Prime Minister still without clearance. Conveniently forgotten by the media and by the Tories who are calling for Starmer’s resignation.

Silly Pun for a Saturday:-

The Grim Reaper's wife left him for a bloke with a pair of secateurs, which proves once and for all that scythe doesn't matter...

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The Courier didn't ring the bell, he didn't even put my parcel inside my 'designated safe place'. I think he was distracted by listening to 1980's funk because I heard him say...

"UPS outside your shed". He say, "UPS outside your shed"

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If Cleanliness is next to Godliness then you're missing a lot of pages from your Dictionary...

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It's all square in the final of the Noughts and Crosses Championships, and we've just run out of paper....

…what a game we now have on our hands

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I used to suffer from inertia but now I'm cured...

I'm exstatic

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Todays Conversation:-

Me: ''Spring is finally here''

Wife: ''yes indeed, it won’t be long before you have to cut the grass''

Me: ''if it’s not long I won’t have to cut it…''

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I hate clichés, but other people love them.

Swings and roundabouts, I guess

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I've been accused of using subliminal messaging to sell my protein powder...

which is completely false, buy the whey

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Silly Pun:-

I will never forget the financial advice John Lennon gave me…

He told me to invest in toilet lids, as their prices would hold up as strongly as the finest gemstones…

He even sang about it, most famously in 1967's 'Loo Seat Index High With Diamonds'

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Conversation for Today:-

Doctor: ''I'm going to tap your knee twice with this hammer...''

*knock knock*

Me: ''Who's there?''

Doctor: ''As I suspected. You have a very sensitive gag reflex''

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