Breakfast this morning was an egg and so much cheese I can trick my brain into thinking I'm not eating an egg breakfast burrito and a dirty Alani.
We'll see if it kills me later.

Headed to the last Providence game of the regular season!

Dear tailgating asshole in a gigantic truck with a Captain America sticker in the back window:
Steve Rogers would think you're an asshole.

A bracket for the 2026 NHL playoffs. FIrst round: Colorado over LA in 5; Dallas over Minnesota in 6; Utah over Las Vegas in 7; Edmonton over Anaheim in 6; Buffalo over Boston in 6; Montreal over Tampa in 7; Carolina over Ottawa in 5; Pittsburgh over Philadelphia in 7. Second round: Colorado over Dallas; Edmonton over Utah; Montreal over Buffalo; Carolina over Pittsburgh. Conference finals: Colorado over Edmonton; Carolina over Montreal. Stanley Cup Champions prediction: Carolina over Colorado with a tie-breaker of 17 goals total.

My shit bracket

So many happy dogs with their heads out of car windows today

No big deal just a solar eclipse as seen from the moon streamed to us here on Earth by astronauts who are farther away from their home planet than any human has ever been

Me: "I don't know if I have a favorite author."
Also me: pre-orders @johngreensbluesky.bsky.social's new book 7 minutes after it's announced

WELCOME JAMES HAGENS🤜🤛

#BRIvsPRO

“Vice President JD Vance thinks aliens are visiting earth and that they are Demons” is the most “I wish Carl Sagan were alive” moment I’ve had in a while.

Found a pair of everyday leggings that fit well and make my ass look great... I ordered three more pairs in different colors.

I hate this. I think it did its job.

Being visibly queer in public is an act of rebellion.

My boy Dippy is in goal!

It's fucking snowing again 😭

Get the fucking feds out of the locker room, wtf are you doing

it happened again lmao

I guess it's a very Canadian experience to have your team disappoint you 2 months into your technical citizenship.

BRING ME THE HEAD OF RADKO GUDAS

The ‘Spidercam’ is reinventing the way fans watch hockey at the Winter Olympics Suspended over the ice by four retractable wires, the mobile camera is giving fans a new vantage of the fastest game on Earth.

Spidercam, Spidercam.
Does whatever a camera can't.
Flies around, all the guys.
Catches angles you can't describe.
Look up! It's a Spidercam.

My story from Milan:
www.nytimes.com/athletic/704...

From a hockey fan who has no idea what's happening: this is, like, bad, right?

They ruined the Dunkin ad by 1. putting Brady in it and 2. Taping over the Bruins logo

"If I start investing at 7, I might be able to buy a house!" IS NOT A GOOD MESSAGE

If there's a sign on the table that says "do not move table," maybe don't move the table.

The first draft of my book is officially done!!!
Now the work of fixing all the timeline issues and adding relevant context (aka making it make sense) starts.

New Harry album and Rachel Reid on What Chaos.
Great day for annoying bisexuals.

I kept meaning to try this when it was around but never got to 😭

My finger has hurt all day after it got hit with something, so I splinted it. I cracked my knuckle about 15 minutes ago and it doesn't hurt at all anymore. Must have been subluxed or dislocated 🤦‍♀️

What is with the Google Maps thing, and ditch the sports commentary wtf?

(Yes, I relate to Shane more, but my ass wouldn't be caught dead in Metros gear)

I would be a fucking menace in an Ilya Rozanov crop top