Look, we’re behind that ice wall for a reason

Remember back in the 80s when we saved the whales? Now those mother fuckers are stuck here with us.

Has anyone asked Kash Patel if he is drunk right now?

I like when the sports reporter on the east coast has to stay up till 2am. I don’t even really care about hockey

Best ONN in months at least.

God damn man. Does your birthdate have a 6 in middle or what?

I either worked out too hard or jacked off too hard bc my wrist is killing me

Loose bodies? Gotta eat more bananas

More like HoorMoos

I’m advocate for the assassination of politicians- drunk

Fah-uck Cory Booker

Lynne Thigpen as "The Chief" from Where In Time Is Carmen Sandiego

Lock the fuck in, Gumshoes. Carmen Sandiego stole a priceless wax pressing of "One of These Nights" by the Eagles. You've got to stop her before she travels back in time to 149 BC Carthage and trades it to Scipio Africanus the Younger for a kilo of the good shit.
*Rockapella bops on stage*

6 ticks have to be some kind of record

Who the fuck is eating Twizzlers?

watching this mf decant the tin

Not sure how this "no tax on tips" stunt was supposed to play out, but showing a senior citizen who is stuck driving Door Dash because she can't afford her husbands cancer treatment is not the flex they think it is.
Or was that part bullshit too?

It's the classic Mel Gibson and Jesus meme where Mel is on set in normal clothes casually chatting to a very bloody Jesus (for those of you who don't know it).

Mel Gibson pictured with his doctor in 2004

30 years ago today, Principal Skinner purchased fast food to disguise as his own cooking at an unforgettable luncheon with Superintendent Chalmers.

#TheSimpsons episode “22 Short Films About Springfield” first aired April 14, 1996.

Guess who just gorged on OG Doritos?

Italy Implements a New Labor Leave that Allows Workers to Care for Sick Pets - Italy Italy has implemented a new labor policy that allows employees to request leave to care for their sick pets. In specific cases, the leave will be paid.

Italy has become the first in the world to legally recognize that caring for a domestic animal can justify an authorized absence, in some cases, a paid one.

We’re going to need to shut down Fox and all right wing news and media companies.

I just don’t see another way to stop this shit from happening again.

enacting my 8 point plan to trick my dog into eating his fucking preventatives

hell yea. I need her on my algorithm, if you know what I mean.

Dr Zoidberg dressed as Jesus, from FUTURAMA

Doctor Or Jesus? Round One:

Leaked video from the yesterday’s mar-a-lago election night watch party ..

what the fuck is even going on

If you think the Pope is a radical leftist, wait till you meet his boss.

Good day to bust this one out.

Not the bass line at 9am on a Sunday