Ooh, something's changed... so I might be able to attend 16th May now. Hmmm... might be a bit close to Confuzzled for people I know.

You only saw 3 properties?! Nice! Glad that worked out for you fairly quickly 🙂.

I'm hoping Friday's second viewing works out. I'm getting tired of house hunting. I've been doing it on an off for about 6 months.

Yeah exactly. I'm starting to accept I just can't afford the theoretical house I actually *want*. There will always be moderate compromises. They just have to be acceptable.

Moderate hopes for Friday though. Claws crossed it holds up to a second viewing... unlike the last second viewing.

House hunting is all about finding the maximum number of compromises you're prepared to accept.

21st viewing today. Nope.

But I am going for a second viewing on Friday, one that's a possible contender. Definitely not perfect, but I don't have the money for perfect.

Just had a kinda sad thought. Wondering whether to have an early night, try to catch up on sleep. Considered watching another episode of Last One Laughing, which I enjoy.

"I don't have the energy to laugh tonight."

I know what you mean, but a bit harsh for him - he's a nice enough guy, and definitely not reached fame (or probably money).

It's almost certainly a case of who he knows, excessive confidence, and probably just doing *every* role he sees, rather than being picky.

It's still frustrating though.

Today is probably going to be a fairly rough day. I'm so tired. Not been sleeping well. Lots on my mind. Frustration. I have an awkward phone call to make to cancel 2 house viewings for Thursday I only booked yesterday. Unexpectedly busy work day today... maybe. Second guessing myself a lot.

... he's posting a new project he's working on.

How?! How can someone so 2d be working so much?! Based on instructor/crew feedback, I'm far better than he is. What am I doing wrong?

Aside from software development, that is... 😕

I worked with one actor on a course I did last year. The instructors confided in me they really struggled to get him to actually emote in his scene - he was flat and uninteresting. Having seen his scene, I absolutely agree.

Yet somehow, he's *constantly* working. It feels like every other day...

"Fun" fact - I nearly applied to the original casting of Tigger in Pooh B&H2. But I didn't, because I felt I didn't quite fit the criteria. Sad truth though, even if our skills match (I'm sure they don't) their casting is better than I'd be, because he's good on social media. I'm not. Kinda hate it.

Hopefully, things might crop up in the next 10 weeks...

Feeling kinda disassociated from furry.

*looks up Londonfurs meets*

Goddammit, I can't make the next 3...

Works for some people, and that's fine.

I really struggle to motivate myself with my job by myself. Stopped caring a long time ago.

I also live alone. I can go a whole week without being face to face to a single person. One reason why I like PT so much - a fun weekly in-person interaction.

Lego red Japanese Maple bonsai.

Finally, a bonsai tree I can't kill.

The nature of time means I'm forever moving the goalposts. It's never my time.

Obviously, that's insane. But that might help partly explain why I often feel this way.

The majority of my peers during my formative years were older. I still have this deep-seated feeling that anyone who has been successful, or done something worthwhile, is older than me. Which justifies their success - they're older, and have more experience. It's just not my time yet. Perpetually.

Huh. Interesting thought.

I'm an August kid. That means that throughout school and uni, I was usually one of the youngest. I usually felt ready for the year just as it was ending, and the new one beginning. In hindsight, I should've taken a gap year. But that's not this recent thought.

I'm so over working from home 100% of the time.

I don't have the imagination to think of such stuff to post, but I do like to see such things..!

I keep feeling like I want to post something to bluesky. I reach for the link/app...

... and then I realise I have nothing to say.

This has happened repeatedly recently. It's like I have a lot on my mind, but I can't refine my thoughts enough. I also feel a bit isolated, holding myself back.

Felt like I was going wild today spending £320 on two new bonsai, while mulling it over I got chatting with a couple about to buy two trees totalling over £2500...

(they were beauties, to be fair)

I miss the days where I actually cared about my job..! Sure, days were sometimes stressful, but they were fairly quick and satisfying, and I didn't feel this constant resistance.

Physical work is easier to do without caring than cerebral work. Tasks just slip off the mind. Very hard to force it.

There are some valid uses - I find it's quite good for code reviews, alongside humans. And more advanced auto-complete. And, I guess, rapid non-prod prototyping.

Maybe it's just the luddite in me. A lot of it still feels like a toy, that actually gets in the way of professionals.

Just watched a senior dev walk through how he's using vibe coding in our main codebase, to do things like adding routes, cleaning up imports, unused functions, relatively simple stuff.

And I dunno... to me, it just seems... easier to just make the changes manually? Than wrangling a LLM?

Jesus me too... pleeeeeeease BlueSky...

If I start to feel ready again I'll probably use that, thanks.

Trialling turning off all reposts.

Got very tired of 3/4s of my feed being random reposts. Too much.

Eww... the desperation is grim. I have a similar disgust of smoking/vaping. It also killed my mum, despite managing to quit a decade beforehand.

Smoking is so abhorrent to me. Absolutely no place for it these days. It's not like nobody knows the health issues, or that there's no support available.

I'm definitely having a few days where every little minor distraction is bothering me. Feeling a little overwhelmed. Multi-tasking is BS, I need to lock in to one thing at a time.

It makes me resent work even more than I usually do. But I love having a project on, it's quite rare for me.

The lack of space often frustrates me. Nothing I can do about it, apart from move house.

And hope the place I can afford actually has more space. No guarantees.