this one may be an all timer y’all

lol

the boy scouts GAVE me my pocket knives and lighters

yup, thankfully they didn't take the keychain it was on! just the lighter itself.

they wouldn’t let me take in my bic mini lighter that was on my keys at the aragon tonight. live nation, you owe me 3.95 on top of whatever else over the years.

oh city already have the lead lol

OPEN THE SCHOOLS

chelsea front office said we want frank to lose the tottenham game

the royal tenenbaums soundtrack is my happy place

she actually got him to say exactly what she wanted him to say and he still fucked it up HAHA

fuck i typed social instead of team

so if i’m not blocked by that account, does that mean i have won the hunger games?

eli sunday had a kid before he died huh

AOC talking to RFK Jr. Her facial and hand gesture has the spiritual energy of that Italian hand gesture where you pinch your fingers and wave your hand (the "ma che vuo" gesture).

how it feels to say "sprezzatura"

water from your eyes is the opener too? this is gonna rule

not me volunteering for more responsibilities for 10 months, couldn't be me

batlle done, lets fucking go

billy donovan really wanted that severance money

we gotta call it the american flu when it happens, right?

that’s incredible spacing lol

the first question is a really sweet prompt question too because it makes you see if the other person has both an imagination and empathy towards children and then the second part just takes a poop on that

at least we can cast a new emperor in star wars

is this a test?!?

we had a buddy that had one of these in college and you had to stand on top of their couch to hit it. one of our friends fainted while doing it and hit his head smack dab on the tile floor.

reads discourse and finds out the source came from the non-shorts wearer by the name of josh barro

The Pete Hegseth experience is revitalized when you realize that he's Mac from It's Always Sunny

a man is dancing in a hallway and saying `` that 's what i 'm talkin about ! '' Alt: a man is dancing in a hallway and saying `` that 's what i 'm talkin about ! ''

happy holiday to the king

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this one is a banger

drop dead by Olivia Rodrigo on Apple Music

i know that it’s just generic mainstream pop and whatever but the drums on this are so much fun when they finally kick in