im stuck behind bars. come help me out!

lol my twitter account got nuked cause chuds mass reported my innocuous but mega viral tweet about stonewall- I love the free speech platform

im stuck behind bars. come help me out!

call me cruel... if you dare.

was catfishing a disabled guy and voice called with him and he played this and said it was our song

im stuck behind bars. come help me out!

all the people who think they can jerk me around and not get their comeuppance are deluded. they'll regret it.

sneaking cheese into a climber's chalk bag so he has a snack during the long way up

you must think im a jackass.

i was talking to my crush and she mistook my thermos for hers and took a sip of clam chwoder and crackers said she never wanted to see me again

doused the coach with a jug of skunk water after the big game. grab a brat boy we're beating off

MGSV is so realistic that you can touch yourself in the porta potty after doming a 12 year old combatant with a fourteen thousand dollar gun

lighting a tea candle under my 1800s jerkoff machine

i live in this fucked up sicko house and every part of it is falling apart. my computer doesnt work cause a 12lb block of moldy drywall fell on top of it. theres mushrooms growing out of my ears.

im a scary looking guy. theres goblins flying around the inside of my head. if you lived my life for an hour you'd understand everything.

cooking a barrel of my beautiful chunky chili. my wife hates it but i get to ladle it out to an adoring crowd of wonderful women

spanking off in the public restroom cause i caught a hot girl bending over. she looked back at me with the most calculated derision i've ever seen.

my name..? call me the cruel D.