As a president once said: "Let us redefine progress to mean that just because we can do a thing, it does not necessarily follow that we must do that thing."

whoever this is, they are amazing

the cure for male loneliness is, i am only half kidding, learning how to cook

Caesar Never Calls

i don’t want my appliances to be smart or connect to the internet. i want them to do one mechanical task for 100 years

This is hilarious.

Also, completely enraging.

Albini Sessions (Benefit for Letters Charity), by Fugazi 12 track album

Stop literally everything.

Steve Albini's Fugazi sessions, widely bootlegged and full of lore, now available officially for the first time.

fugazi.bandcamp.com/album/albini...

I love him

Picture of Marjane Satrapi alongside a quote from her. The quote reads: The world is not divided into countries. The world is not divided between East and West. You are American, I am Iranian, we don't know each other, but we talk together and we understand each other perfectly. The difference between you and your government is much bigger than the difference between you and me. And the difference between me and my government is much bigger than the difference between me and you. And our governments are very much the same... - Marjane Satrapi, Iranian-French graphic novelist

Thinking about this quote from Persepolis creator Marjane Satrapi again.

Bruce Springsteen making an album called Nebraska and filling it with even more songs about New Jersey is the most east coast shit anyone has ever done

tourettes guy shouting racial slurs is a fact pattern dreamed up in a lab to roil this website for days

I've just discovered that there's a scottish island called Unst and now I will always think of it whenever I hear techno. UNST UNST UNST UNST UNST UNST etc

Imagine bringing American food to Italy

Oh my word, that looks absolutely perfect

a screenshot of a google calendar that shows "9am-1pm 'thinking about lunch', 1pm-2pm 'lunch', 2pm-6pm 'post-lunch nap'" in lime green blocks

absolutely slammed with meetings today

I would just like to point out that trans people are not the cause of any of this

Sunset dinner at the Wyld… as close to perfect as this life allows

I love their anger and confusion. I love that they've never once in their whole worthless lives felt care for or from another person. I love that they're hollow and worthless and will never know joy.

As a child, Plumbp Goofus was always told he would amount to nothing. Now he's Federal Officer Plumbp Goofus -- not so funny any more, is it?

Just reading the affidavits from the pediatrician and the kids' facepaint artist about what they saw when the federal agents killed the nurse outside the donut shop

‘look for the helpers’ is advice for children. it’s time to be the helpers.

like most mistakes in Shreveport, it went unaddressed

A screenshot of Lala and Po from the teletubbies. The screenshot is clearly taken from someone's phone, as the borders of the tv can be seen, as well as glimpses into the apartment behind them. Po is in bed wrapped up in a blanket. The text below them reads "I know you were high at my mother-in-laws funeral..."

More screenshots from the Teletubbies. Lala seems to be upset with a terrified Po. the text below reads "Did you kill the dog? Why would you do that?!"

A third screenshot from the Teletubbies, this time the same scene as before. Po is wearing an apron while Lala seems to still be upset at him. The text below reads "You're nothing but a failure of a man."

In the 2010s, the Icelandic tv station Channel 2 accidentally added subtitles from a gritty crime drama to an episode of Teletubbies.

I have translated some of the highlights

Curt Cignetti walked into a college town with little football success and said Ohio State and Michigan sucked, said he'd be at the B1G title game soon, told everyone to Google him, and literally backed all of it up in just 2 years.

Cig cares about how quickly the beer will get the buzz going, and nothing else

For real though, fuck ESPN for putting Skycast on ESPN News… your scroll sucks bro

jack daniels can be classified as either bourbon or whiskey, since bourbon and whiskey are simply different names for identical products

i need every single person to spend the next 53 seconds of their life watching this video from the intermission of the Hershey Bears game

i promise you, it just keeps getting better