The butt

Man, your dick was absorbed by all that blubber. Pretty soon it won't be even visible even when hard. Guys will have to search for it through all those layers of fat to jerk you off.

80% of political commentary on foreign affairs is just “here’s why it’s okay to kill civilians in the country I don’t like and why it’s not okay in the country I do like”

Damn, you really blew up, much like the buttons on the shirt when they tried to constrain the lard on that fat gut.

You get the butt today

חג חנוכה שמח 🐶

חג חנוכה שמח 🐶

#pokemonmysterydungeon

I think we both know the answer to that, cutie. 😘

I could use someone sucking on this

Woof

Got a new leash

Bet it's been a while since that shirt was able to fully cover that belly

Just hanging in a tub

They say dressed for the job you want, not the one you have. Which is why I dress as a dog.

Whoops! I was actually trying to lose weight

Is that a banana in my pants or am I happy to see you

Yeah you are piggy. I can't believe how big you've gotten. You're more lard than human.

Going eighties

Every time I see you, I'm amazed how fat you've gotten.

Running 3.5 miles at the gym today

Am I wearing underwear? You will never know

That shirt is going to give predators ideas. Don't be surprised when you find yourself over a flame.

I see your hangover is growing, piggy

I'm in position.