With the help of the Sandy Hook families, The Onion has reached a long-awaited deal to take over InfoWars.
We've enlisted the help of @timheidecker.bsky.social, who will be InfoWars' Creative Director.
Please stand by for more.
just say our four humors are unbalanced this is taking forever
This is how we bring new life to monster truck rallies
Watching bars build their summer patios with the excitement of a rambunctious orphan watching the circus tent get put up.
I try not to be mean to DnD fans, because I genuinely believe a riding tide lifts all boats here, but the replies arguing that dogshit rules that every table rebuilds from scratch are good actually because *checks notes* DnD has been consitently dogshit since it's inception are making it real hard.
Elon musk is gonna fake the Mars landing.
🚨THIS IS A VERY BIG DEAL AND YOU SHOULD CARE🚨
"There are hundreds of people jailed in Quebec every year for minor infractions. Why? Access to a fair trial is quietly becoming luxury most cannot afford."
Vital story from @titocurtis.bsky.social and Hal Newman for @therovermedia.bsky.social:
The military doesnt make you cut your hair anymore luckily!
A photograph of a young man with long hair being sworn into the navy by a woman there are two Canadian flags.
My son, @thebasil.bsky.social, now a Naval Warfare Officer in the Canadian Navy Reserves.
Some more film i got developed recently.
A photograph of Bonhomme, the official representative of the Québec Winter Carnival. He is a big white snowman wearing a red tuque.
Going to tell Trump this is Canada’s Fentanyl Czar.
It is 9:31 AM AST, February 1st, 2025.
We have 1 hour 6 minutes 15 seconds more daylight than December 21st.
There are now 139 days, 14 hours, and 11 minutes until the start of summer in #PEI. Photo courtesy of @thebasil.bsky.social
I just got a roll of film back this week from the summer that has me missing the sun!
9-8-8 is a new phone number, available by phone or text, (in Canada) that recently went live to help people get help in a mental health crisis. Similar to 911, this line is dedicated for anyone in need of mental health assistance of any kind.
Someone is always listening.
#SuicideAwareness call 988
My take on the drone situation
www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZK4H...
Great 🧵 and it’s not easy to “sit this one out” when you suddenly find yourself cast as villain of the week. It can, reasonably, be terrifying but there’s a bit of advice that goes around in certain support group circles, “Don’t answer back to bullshit.” See also “Truth is the daughter of time.”
Sorry boss, i cant cross this picket line.
For those too young to remember the conviction of Native American activist Leonard Peltier, and the case for his release, here’s a primer from @amnestyuk.bsky.social. www.huffpost.com/entry/amnest...
You’re darn right Trump is going to lower your grocery bill, that’s just what happens when two of your kids are dead.
Hi everyone.
The Onion, with the help of the Sandy Hook families, has purchased InfoWars.
We are planning on making it a very funny, very stupid website.
We have retained the services of some Onion and Clickhole Hall of Famers to pull this off.
I can't wait to show you what we have cooked up.
As @thebasil.bsky.social says, “You have to watch yourself at U of T in the fall, you’ll catch grad school.”
Hey y'all, ive just registered to participate in this year's MS walk. Last year my best friend was diagnosed with MS so this is a cause near and dear to me. If you have any ability to do so I'd appreciate you supporting my fundraising goal msspwalk.donordrive.com/participant/...
A view of an empty airport tarmac
And entirely empty airport terminal with a big white picture of a lobster on one wall.
Three hours early for my one hour flight — basically the only flight out today. The security staff scrambled to their places when I arrived and now I sit alone in an empty terminal, the King of Dads. A whole row of window seats as my throne.
Born for seasonal labour, forced to be employed all year.
Business pitch: a karaoke bar but it's a bunch of booths with unplugged mics for guys to podcast into.
It would be great if the Canadian media would point out in its articles on puberty blockers that they've been used for decades for children who are going through early puberty, rather than simply parroting conservative culture war framing.
www.theglobeandmail.com/politics/art...
Attacking the RNLI has to be one of the craziest moves yet. I guess we have to add "not drowning" to the list of things that are too woke.
I have this issue where I know all landlords suck. But I've actually only ever had really great landlords? I feel like this is gonna mess with my socialist street cred. Anyway, my ceiling is leaking.
