i have to keep going, but thought i'd pop in and say happy pride and thinking abt all my moots and lurkers out there, stay safe

positives: lax free for 3 months, i can use the bathroom regularly now, i got my period back (hesitant abt this one...), overall i feel so much happier n have more pleasant conversations with everyone i love, i even aced every class last semester! and i feel sm physically stronger than before

somewhere in between relapsing and hanging onto recovery by a very very thin thread ...

for anyone else on the cusp of thinking about recovery, i'll just say this: i have reached multiple gws since relapsing and i've only now realized that this ed is so fucking evil. it does not care if you are skinny, it just wants you to rot and die. i hope you guys all heal one day, truly.

i would love to keep in touch with all of you but the reality is, i cannot do that without risking the chance of relapse. i'll be logged out indefinitely. this place has definitely been such a safe space for me + i'm so thankful for everyone i've ever interacted with. so so much love for all of you

i guess i should be thankful that i'm vain as hell because excessive bloating was really the trigger for my recovery. what is the point of being bmi 16 if i genuinely look like mr. bobo???? fucking jumpscare fr. it's like all my work was for nothing + i have spent way too much time crying over it

hi it's been a hot minute... after experiencing the worst ed symptoms (& still going thru it), i'm attempting recovery for real this time. i'm tired of crying and writhing on the floor in pain over my gi issues + the constant fucking food noise is ruining my self esteem more than being fat ever did

you do not know how jealous i am OMFG need to trade bowels just for one day ... 🙇‍♀️ please ...

a cat is sitting on a couch and looking at the camera . ALT: a cat is sitting on a couch and looking at the camera .

"eat regular meals" WHOA WHOA OK ANYTHING BUT THAT!

i lowkey would do anything for normal bowel movements again 🧎‍♀️i hate feeling so fucking bloated 24/7

me during my honeymoon phase vs now where i struggle to not binge every 2 days

"older minors" you are a MINOR period

me. AND gluten free???? amazing

love and defend ur abuser if you wish, i will not

oatmeal loml (broke up w ricecakes)

Like and repost if you have an eating disorder or if you hate Elon musk with every atom in your body <3

i'm just a girl

i have no one to brag abt this to bc my class is highly competitive and we dont rlly talk abt grades but i highkey slayed all my recent exams... been living that high cals high grades life lately

ok hear me out. Fried foods yummy

giraffespo ♡

wanted to be a lil freaky this morning 😝

why is my waist actually gigantic.

so apparently. i look like this?

my initial thought is that you have a v athletic build (body tea fr), but my first reaction wouldn't be "disordered"... but that's prob just the ed brain talking

maintained for the whole month i'm literally going insane

ALSO i think i'm going to focus on cardio/pilates again (maybe w weights?) + reserve only 1 day for pure weight training :\\ i've decided i don't like the bulkiness on me

i get somewhat irked when people tell me it's not abt the number on the scale it's how you feel... but like... i only feel better abt myself after seeing the numbers go down..???? a never ending dilemma

February more like Flopruary tbh....