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[Cartoon strip pastiche of the Highway Code, with illustrations describing the text]

[Title panel]:

The Highway Code
Rule number 112b:
LED headlights

In recent years, many
new cars have been fitted with extra-bright LED headlights.

LED headlights increase safety by illuminating every detail of the road ahead

Including the face of the person driving a metal box towards you at a combined speed of 80mph

Whom you have just blinded with your LED headlights.

LED headlights must be fitted at eye-level on a great big murderous wall of car.

[Show a car crumpling into the front of a high-fronted SUV, bathed in light from the blinding headlamps]

They must be permanently on full beam, because you are insane.

And they should be bright enough to make other drivers think they are ascending into a blinding vortex of alien light

Like them old people in the classic Ron Howard film, Cocoon (1985). 
[Show illustration of the final scene where the older people on the boat are being yoinked up into the blindingly-illuminated cloaca of the big spaceship]

So remember: you must use LED headlights

To prevent everyone from not crashing into you. 
[Image shows this happening]

[Ends]

[Cartoon strip pastiche of the Highway Code, with illustrations describing the text] [Title panel]: The Highway Code Rule number 112b: LED headlights In recent years, many new cars have been fitted with extra-bright LED headlights. LED headlights increase safety by illuminating every detail of the road ahead Including the face of the person driving a metal box towards you at a combined speed of 80mph Whom you have just blinded with your LED headlights. LED headlights must be fitted at eye-level on a great big murderous wall of car. [Show a car crumpling into the front of a high-fronted SUV, bathed in light from the blinding headlamps] They must be permanently on full beam, because you are insane. And they should be bright enough to make other drivers think they are ascending into a blinding vortex of alien light Like them old people in the classic Ron Howard film, Cocoon (1985). [Show illustration of the final scene where the older people on the boat are being yoinked up into the blindingly-illuminated cloaca of the big spaceship] So remember: you must use LED headlights To prevent everyone from not crashing into you. [Image shows this happening] [Ends]

The Highway Code rule 112b: LED headlights

3 months ago 1026 359 23 27

@hankgreen.bsky.social

Hey sir! Can you explain how this evolved?

4 months ago 0 0 0 0

I think about this post every single time I'm stuck at work when it's rainy or snowing.

7 months ago 2606 882 4 20

Every WSJ journalist and other journalist who pushed the lie that the shooter was pushing "transgender ideology" is as bad as journalists who pushed anti-Jewish libel in Nazi Germany.

Nazis are openly calling for violence against trans people under the assumption the shooter was trans.

7 months ago 1142 393 8 4

"I think it's worth to have a cost of, unfortunately, some gun deaths every single year so that we can have the Second Amendment to protect our other God-given rights" - Charlie Kirk, 2023

www.mediamatters.org/charlie-kirk...

7 months ago 13718 5362 780 606

Charlie KIrk believed that empathy was a "new concept" that shouldn't exist, so anyone who expresses condolences for him is being VERY disrespectful to his beliefs right now. please keep him out of your thoughts as he begins his transition into worm food. thank you

7 months ago 13691 4130 88 60

Cows don't "give" us milk.

7 months ago 1 0 0 0
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No cheating, here is my lock screen! I made this art with pencil and much time.

8 months ago 3 0 1 0

he's bitin the heads off the angels now

8 months ago 9324 1715 102 64

Oh cooool, you're the arbiter of gender and womanhood, congrats on that promotion

9 months ago 16 0 0 0
Video

I wondered where she'd been, found her new spot while watering my plants and spiders (I have a little spritz bottle just for the spiders, they very much appreciate it.)
Anyway she's probably a hobo spider. Bigger than last I saw her. Brings this monkey joy.

9 months ago 0 0 0 0

I have the full series still! I don't hold with their largely unaddressed fantasy racism and sexism, but I hold onto them for the nostalgia.

10 months ago 0 0 0 0
A nickel-sized diadem spider suspended in the center of its web and lit by the sun.

A nickel-sized diadem spider suspended in the center of its web and lit by the sun.

Good bug. Diadem spider. She was living on my blackberry bramble for a couple months. I think a bird got her this week, though. RIP madam

10 months ago 1 0 0 0
A large male yellow sac spider hanging out on the underside of a pineapple sage leaf.

A large male yellow sac spider hanging out on the underside of a pineapple sage leaf.

Good bug. Yellow sac spider. He was in my shower, so I gave him a lift outside.

10 months ago 1 0 0 0
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