I swear Virginia keeps trying to get me to move back

(Someone should put biotech in Richmond and then hire me about it, that could work)

She's so right, having a grown-up job *is* so brave

I love lawsuits like this because how is he going to prove that he definitely wasn't drunk

In contrast to this, taxpayers funding my salary is an excellent investment.

And that's how I ended up the only person on my side. Me. A child whose personal nightmare was "everyone is looking at me and I have to do something". I don't even remember what I did--I assume I threw the ball and tried to get hit--but I can tell you that running away forever sounded pretty good.

One time in gym class (also sucked), we were forced to play dodgeball. Well, I was forced. Others perhaps played willingly. I, not wanting to have anything be My Fault, just avoided the ball as long as possible. Unfortunately, this is also a way to succeed at dodgeball.

Why was it always on the hottest possible day? Why were the activities so team-based? Why couldn't I just, like, dig up worms or something instead of being forced to do something with a clear success or failure outcome while being observed (my personal hell)?

Nail trim day is always such a joy for everyone involved

Current obsession: a reddit thread about school Field Days. The comments are split between "Yessss Field Day my favorite!!!!!" and "Field day, my arch nemesis. The worst day of the school year."

I am, unsurprisingly, on Team Field Day Sucks.

This is the color of fresh baby leaves in Spring after a rainstorm!

It is very funny that the internet lie machine doesn't understand that humans lie on the internet

You have to put your phone number in to get every discount code now, it's horrible out in these streets

Google Street view screenshot showing the weird bike lane. It's not great here, but it's worse now because of construction

Me: *waiting at the light in a contraflow bike lane*

Driver: you're going the wrong way, hun

No...I'm not.

(But it is admittedly an incredibly stupid intersection with an essentially unmarked bike lane, so I can see why she thought that.)

I have a dried up squirrel in my backyard. The Philly special I guess!

I swear if I find a kitten on the street I am bringing it home forever, I have kitten fever

I actually also had to do something weird to prevent windows from indexing for search, I was like always at 98% CPU? Just melting my computer for no reward

I had to switch to Everything app years ago, so much better. I couldn't take it

Some window cats of Philadelphia

I am once again begging companies to just put the price on the website

*science reasons

Good Lord. I have to wake up at 3:30 am for work occasionally, for experience reasons, but every day would probably actually kill me. Godspeed.

As tips to avoid taxes!

I came so close to getting run over today (right hook, a classic) and, though I wear a helmet, a helmet would not have helped much if the problem was my body being driven over by a truck.

(My helmet did save me from a bad concussion once when I crashed on wet leaves. Stupid leaves.)

A little bit of methanol, as a treat

Close up of my broken glasses. The arm snapped in half right at the joint by the hardware.

I straight up broke my glasses trying to clean them, Happy Friday 🫠

(Thankfully I'm a weirdo who sometimes suddenly hates the feeling of a particular pair of glasses on my face and had a second pair in my bag.)

They taste like Tums (laudatory)

My jaw actually dropped

It's a great book! Scientifically good and it's also a pleasure to read.

Cyclists to drivers: you aren't entitled to drive everywhere at max speed with zero impediment

Drivers to cyclists: you aren't entitled to live (and also you look stupid in your lil bike clothes and I hate you for existing)

Whichever Siddhartha Mukherjee book seems closest to their interests? (I've only read Emperor of all Maladies, which I got as a gift, and I liked it a lot)