Actually, it’s good for the FBI Director to be drunk because then he’ll overshare classified information with CIA agents at the bar and we can avoid another 9/11

Does Tim Apple have to legally change his name now?

Sure, alcohol is worse than pot in many ways. It causes health problems and car crashes. But marijuana can make a person think their own art is good. How many lives has that ruined, hmm?

Dave Ross - Civilization VI Podcast Episode · My New Thing with Dan and Zach · April 17 · 1h 23m

Had a great time talking to Dave Ross about his obsession with Civilization VI! podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/m...

JD Vance reveals Trump’s New Ten Commandments.

JD Vance reveals Trump’s New Ten Commandments.

when dolphins masturbate, they have orcasms thank you!!

“Is the Pope Catholic?” is rhetorical!!!

@danwilbur.bsky.social

Hahah. If only there were some new Christianity that didn’t care about this Pope guy!

How do you parody this??

How is this possible??

JD Vance reveals which popes Donald Trump actually likes in wake of president’s attack on Pope Leo.

Speaking of fake Christians, remember when this administration got angry about people “defacing” a church with graffiti when it was a 4-month art exhibition that used removable stickers, not paint?

Trump thought the image he shared was a normal depiction of him as a doctor because he’s constantly in the hospital hallucinating that angels are coming out of the clouds while he’s in the MRI machine

Incredible timeline

Here’s this bsky.app/profile/danw...

Vice President JD Vance explains the results of his marathon peace talks with Iran.

Open the fuckin’ strait, you crazy bastards, or so help me Allah, I will close it for some reason!!!

Vice President JD Vance explains the results of his marathon peace talks with Iran.

Can’t believe Trump used enhanced interrogation techniques while negotiating with Iran: making them talk to JD Vance for 21 hours straight.

The FAA wants to hire gamers to fill air traffic control jobs. The planes will land safely but the pilots are going to get called a bunch of slurs on the way down.

When I get bored now, I open TikTok and scroll through the live streams of men who look vaguely like me playing video games I beat in 1994. I think we should go back to Tumblr.

Hollywood is cooked. I just read a novel and did all the filmmaking inside my own brain.

It’s crazy that Rick Barry shot 94% from the foul line using the granny shot and no one else does it because it “looks weird.” It’s like everyone deciding that rolling suitcases were a mistake because it looked so much cooler in the 50s when everyone had back and shoulder issues.

Then I take a sh** in the living room and ask why no one else cleans up around here!

What Trump is doing feels like when I let dishes pile up in the sink until I’m nearly out of dishes and then I avert a crisis by doing “the biggest dishwashing session in human history.”

The Denver Airport has a secret underground bunker and Elon Musk goes down there to play Path of Exile where no one can see him.

Hopefully they wheel the horse into the right theater, otherwise I’m watching Minions and Monsters which sounds like a similar premise!

Found a way to see the new Odyssey movie for free! I’m going to hide inside a wooden horse outside the theater and trick the staff into thinking it’s a nice gift.