AAAAAAA Yes! Keep it braided! Braids are cute anyway!

🫂🫂🫂

Who won?

Blasphemy is one of my favorite genres of humor 😂

And Jesus said unto his disciples, "Check this shit out." And the water became tequila shots, and the disciples did then get totally tanked.

LinkedIn is when your kink is capitalism.

Honestly? I'm almost positive there's way more unhinged shit on LinkedIn. Like, "I let new prospective hires sit in the lobby for 3+ hours after their interviews are scheduled to see how much disrespect they will tolerate."

We must find the source of audacity and destroy it.

I like bluesky because it feels so much like tumblr

1. barely works
2. userbase is annoying (affectionate)(not that affectionate)
3. being queer on here feels like I’m actively participating in ruining some tech company’s investment

To finish it

I’m tired

“Why does [insert thing here] suck now” is reliably answered by a) private equity, b) AI, or c) both

Fantastic 🤣🤣🤣

Here's where I left off... [Warning: it's VERY nsfw from here so 🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞]

I finished uploading the rest of the thread lol

HELLO?

WY and LZ start low-key dating (for the sake of professionalism, they keep it mostly under wraps), and WY helps LZ get caught up (no special treatment, just studying!), and LZ passes the class.

All's good.

The end. ❤️💙

JYL keeps side-eyeing them (sitting, with LZ gently holding WY together) for the rest of the night, just grinning from ear to ear.

NHS, who had shown up while they were gone, and is sitting next to JC gives him a smile and a thumbs up.

/Jesus fucking Christ/.

They're able to clean up in the second-floor restroom and return to the party looking mostly put together aside from WY's puffy eyes and a slight limp.
WY isn't sure how long it's been, but he thinks he sees JC catching them rejoining the party and rolling his eyes.

"Wei Laoshi ruined everyone else for me the first day I saw him."

Epilogue:

WY: LAN ZHAN YOU CAN'T JUST SAY THINGS LIKE THAT. 😭 *tries to smack LZ* *back twinges* Ow, Lan Zhan, you mean man! I'm going to be limping all night!

LZ: Wei Ying said to-

WY: Yeah, I know. I know. ☠️

WY goes limp against the desk as LZ wrings himself out with short, deep thrusts inside him, his breathing coming out in short huffs.
"You do this a lot, Lan Zhan?" WY mumbles, eyes crusty with tears and brain hazy with sex.
"Not anymore..." LZ says between breaths.

Even as tears stained WY's cheeks LZ's rhythm got faster and harder as he chased his own climax, nearly bowling over the whole desk and WY in the process until with a long groan LZ's filling WY so deep he'd swear he could feel it in his stomach.

LZ's thrusts are hard and fast, but /focused/, sending WY into a violent, shuddering orgasm where he almost loses his grip on the condom he was spilling into.

WY is forcefully pushed back down against the desk and LZ starts to move. He would be lying if he said he'd never fantasized about getting railed over a desk, but this is so much better than he ever could've imagined. His thighs will be bruised as hell tomorrow, but fuck is it worth it.

When their hips finally came flush together, with LZ seated fully inside him, a low groan of "fuck" behind him made WY's ears prick up.

"So what, you're allowed to talk, but I'm not?" he asked with a weak laugh.

WY grunts as he's pulled up by the hair and LZ whispers in his ear, "That is correct."

WY might not be allowed to talk, but was he allowed to /scream/? The way LZ, this wicked brute of a man, LZ, stretched him open, slowly and painstakingly to allow him to become accustomed to his girth… he only wanted to cry out his name.

He winces when a hand entangles itself in his hair, forcing him to look up and forward and arch his back.

"Now no more talking," LZ orders just before the thick head of his cock breaches WY's tight hole.

"I like to be thorough," LZ says, a hint of breathlessness in his low bass tone as he makes himself slick. "Insufficient lubrication can be uncomfortable. Widen your stance, Wei Laoshi."

WY obeys with trepidation. "Yeah, I bet it is..." he murmurs, turning his head to try to look back at LZ.

"Mn," LZ says noncommittally as he finally undoes the buckle of his belt and the closures of his trousers.

WY hears no less than 3 additional wrappers being torn open. "Jesus, Lan Zhan, you only have one condom but 4 lube packets?"

"Lan Zhan…" WY breathes, his aching erection twitching in his hand as he holds the condom in place that's catching the precum drooling from the tip. "Good god, Lan Zhan, if you're half as good with your cock as you are with your fingers, I'm /done for/."