Somedays do be like this...

9. Feel regret after 4th sausage.
10. Tea has arrived. I was obviously incorrect in ordering coffee.
11. On way out silently judge ppl with 5 sausages on plate, greedy bastards.

4. Try put bread in angry looking bread burner machine
5. Ponder fruit and yoghurt, before adding a 5th sausage to plate.
6. Collect burnt bread.
7. Silently judge messy half-eaten plates on way back to table.
8. Eat sausages while someone's child has seated themselves at your table...

Stages of hotel buffet breakfast in Ireland:
1. Wait while front desk person angrily crosses out my name on a list. They obviously know of my shenanigans.
2. Silently judge hungover people while being led to table
3. Politely ask for 2 coffees from waiter you'll never see again.
4. Try put bread...

When I'm trying to work, the house goblin lurks

My cat likes to sleep next to me in my office, on a little bed. During the day, I can turn to him and talk ideas through. He usually responds with a quiet "Meh". It is accurate, but it still hurts.

James Blunt in Belfast!

Is there a name for when you've bought a jumper out of a shop, but you're worried about wearing it in case you see someone wearing the same one?

I think they're running at about 20 FPS (fucks per second)

Out for a stupid walk for my stupid mental health. Everything's frozen. If you look carefully on the right there's a bastard squirrel lying in wait. This time I'm ready.

What day is this?

Watching Wallace and Gromit with a big cheese selection, as per tradition.

Hah, just found a duplication bug in stardew valley (mobile 1.6)! I stumbled across it while trying out the sowing machine. 999 bars of Iridium, anyone?

Ugh, rain. Had enough of it, everyday grey. Even the people here are 90% rain, and 10% resentment.

To be honest, the way they behave in doom they're sending mixed messages.

Found a new hobby. Going to a coffee shop and playing Stardew Valley on my phone. Also randomly shouting "Bastard chickens escaped again!" ensures I'm left alone.

I saw a cat in homebase a while ago, thought it was strange. Turns out he's a local celeb called Cruickshank and has his own Instagram account! www.instagram.com/cruickshanks...

I bought some toilet parts like fill valves and a close coupling kit for a bit of DIY. Now I see nothing but toilet ads online. Great, super effective advertising 😑

Finally, last working day before I'm off for Christmas. DIY all done, presents on their way, tree all sorted. Just need to get Xmas dinner organised, and convince Max to wear an elf outfit.

I bet he's thinking about the other singles in town. Me: what if the mines are alive and the slimes are antibodies?

After marrying Haley in Stardew Valley...

There's 2 kinds of ppl in this world.
▪️Those that would not ask for this peanut butter by name.
▪️Those that would look you directly in the eye and ask for this peanut butter by name.

Hi Haley I have a present for you! Wow, hope its not a snail again! I said, I hope it's not a snail again!

A typical day in Stardew Valley for me:

Enough said.

Welcome!

Max is on screensaver mode. Jiggle your mouse to wake him up.

I never thought I would live to see the day a CSS meme was created (^-^)

Not feeling too well today. If I don't make it, please tend to my Stardew Valley chickens Henrietta and Eggatha

Artist is Kim Day, title is "High plain, Lo Mein"

I imagine this is what being a cowboy is mostly like

So on the other platform these were called 'tweets', what are they called on here? I've heard 'skeets' but I hate that, one step away from skibbidy. Clouds? Puffs? Rain? Flit? BSing? Posts? Can call it tweets, as that's not taken anymore. Ephemeral Brain Musings?