I've been looking so hard for one in the field during work. Nothing so far! 😭

*plumpens you making you big and round*

plumpen

Hooked up with a guy in a bar. Really seemed to get along.

Get to his hotel.

Take my hair out of a ponytail and suddenly I'm "too trans" and he completely nopes out of everything.

I get that people have their own preferences and such, but that shit has killed me. :/

It's all gone to the dogs

Owning a human pup can get expensive...

DOG

DOG DOG

DOG DOG DOG

AHHHHHH

PUPPY

"Oops, all gone"

I WILL end you.

I'm in a position right now where, for the first time, I'm trying to -not- get cancelled 🤣😭

I MEANT 😏

THANKS, AUTO SUGGEST/CORRECT

I like a dark roast 😴

There's always one exception 💋🥰

Imagine being a wolf

🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂😅😂🤣😂🤣🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂

TfL now offer an "Emergency Omega". Simply: •Break safety seal •Strike red button with fist (Then strike the omega's button with fist repeatedly)

Damn, Transport for London are progressive AF.

Actually 29, almost 30.

Don't tell the youth, though! They'll call me "unc" or similar!

*Clicks through to the original post*

I'm still 18. I've no idea what you're talking about. 👀😱

STOP CALLING ME OUT

"I should grow up some day 'cause I got bills to pay
I can't be waking up at someone else's place
I know I drink too much, can't pay my rent this month
I should be saving up, but"

A ramp for mice. Or rats. Or ants.

Mouse ramp.

💚🤍🩷💚🤍🩷How to tame the boyfriend @murrsuitrelations.bsky.social
1st let them flip you off
2nd approach for a boop
3rd go in for the cuddle
🩷🤍💚
@doggyweekend.bsky.social 📸 @badwolfphotos.bsky.social
🩳 - @pupflashxxx.bsky.social

i am a rude yiffy pirate egg 💯 hydrated creamy fox

pfft didn't even answer all your own quiz smh

Last night, vaulted a fence and ended up on traveller land.

Me: "I'm soooo sorry..."

*Swigs from beer*

"I'm a bit tipsy... I came through a hole in the fence."

Guy: "..Riiiiight, exit is that way"

Me: "Do you want a beer?"

Guy: "...I'm good, exit is that way"

(He was damn HOT)

Me-coded.

"Is she mental?"
.
"No. Just... Tired."

(Forgot to say I ended up on a traveller site)

Moo

Bitch

Get out my hay

Old McDonald had a farm, I give him a titty, Tryna keep him calm

Guy was fucking HOT

"I'm soooo sorry...

*Swigs from beer*

I'm a bit tipsy... I came through a hole in the fence"

"...Right, exit is that way"

"Do you want a beer?"

"...I'm good, exit is that way"

"Hares cannot be domesticated"

I feel you may need to sue Britannica, just a heads up.