i literally turned around after putting it down and noticed it so had to take a pic lol

why does this dishrag at work lowkey look like saddam hussein in his hiding place

I'd really love to hear a ten minute story about why your second husband only drinks medium roasts from Borneo and hates every other coffee (as we serve a Peruvian dark roast that he then says he loves)

no sure, don't worry about the line of 30 people behind you! take your time asking us what literally every single item on the menu is! you're in luck, we do have "normal" coffee!

there's really something about a weekend afternoon that brings out the "never set foot in a coffee shop and don't have any clue how to act" crowd

oh for sure, especially with the game at the Linc? clear dub

ha you fool! you underestimate the sheer willpower Dan Quinn brings to this Washington franchise! Soon the mighty forces of our nation's capital shall expand beyond the Beltway! (go birds tho)

anytime 🧡

The Onion Buys Alex Jones’s Infowars Out of Bankruptcy The satirical news site planned to turn Infowars into a parody of itself, mocking “weird internet personalities” who peddle conspiracy theories and health supplements.

Hi everyone.

The Onion, with the help of the Sandy Hook families, has purchased InfoWars.

We are planning on making it a very funny, very stupid website.

We have retained the services of some Onion and Clickhole Hall of Famers to pull this off.

I can't wait to show you what we have cooked up.

you WILL be the first real bluesky celebrity, i believe

yesss send me that link for sure

hahaha he is something… but real sports fans know it’s hockey season 🫡

yesss definitely we’ve been mutual on that dying site for years now

i wish i could be a fan of a winning franchise but im stuck with the panthers 😔

i will strive to be everyone’s fav niche internet celebrity for at least a week

hello worlds number 1 eagles fan

omg this is liiiiiiterally me

oh well i’ll def bitch about OTHER stuff, just a no bitching about my life policy

also when i do rarely post we’re gonna make a general ✨no bitching policy✨

time to follow a bunch of people on a new social media site again and then never post 😌

needless to say, first week of work going well!

yes i am that hot queer barista with tattoos and nose rings and yes i will spit in your coffee fight me