I am on episode 9 of the X-Files and if I were Scully I would at this point be tired of Mulder bringing up aliens.

There'll be like a montage sequence of him getting killed by skeletons over and over again and he'll be like, "what the hell I freakin' HATE GETTING KILLED BY SKELETONS."

The Eldin Ring movie is going to be about Jack Black getting sucked into the game through his X-Box.

Just doin' a little speculatin here

He won't even have to have a "convenient accident' or anything like that, everyone knows exactly how the grift works even if they're not exactly collaborating.

Kash Patel will get fired, because Trump loves to fire people, and then he'll start making vague allusions to things he might have seen in the Epstein files. But nothing will ever actually come of it and we'll never find out what exactly he's talking about because that is how things work.

Exciting new leaks from the Legend of Zelda movie set. It looks like the movie is mostly going to focus on Tingle. Very excited.

Not related, but my cat just got completely mogged by the orange cat that lives in my apartment complex.

Back when I was in middle school, me and my friend started saying "your mom" after everything in a kind of ironic way, making fun of people who would actually make bad your mom jokes, but then we just ended up saying it as part of our normal vernacular. Anyway, I'll never make that mistake again.

let's make a cultural value judgment: palantir are a bunch of execrable fascist shitheads and their ideas go against the basis of every civilized country on earth, from which they should be extirpated like the intellectual cancer they are

I did vote for her but I'm really sick of seeing people who didn't caricatured as like, overly persnickety simpletons. Run a better fucking candidate you dolts!

The 10 percent was murdered Palestinian children.

Dave Matthews could have written the entirety of the Radiohead catalog, but Radiohead could never have written "Crash Into Me" or "Ants Marching."

It speaks a lot to our cultural moment that these kids are not taking these drugs to get high but to do more work.

I'm from the timeline where there is no Shazaam starrring Sinbad OR Kazaam starring Shaq. There is no joy. There is no light.

The Mr. T Experience getting like a 4 on Pitchfork was a psyop, actually.

I 100% believe that Guy Fieri didn't know who Andrew Tate was, and was just saying hi to a random guy, but also the damage is done and the only way for him to regain his honor is to go to Andrew Tate's house and pee in his burger.

For the sake of society and also for the sake of Clavicular.

Look, it was funny as hell for a second and I had as much fun as anyone, but it's time to stop interviewing this guy.

I hope that Donald Trump personally finds and kills God

"Cheerios" the old sea mutt croaked in a voice salted with the brine of a thousand voyages. "Cheerios and some Sunny Dee, if ye please."

I just read a little bit of the first part of "Treasure Island" and boy is it kind of disconcerting that this old sea dog goes into the tavern and asks for rum and "bacon and eggs."

Just an absolutely magnificent dome. Completely destroys Marc Andreessen.

Trying to get smart over here

It's called high theory cuz you have to be high to understand what the heck they're talkin about!

It would be such an honor if Jeff Ross sat next to me on an airplane someday and just started roasting me

AI sucks ass obviously, though to be fair someone could have made these photos with like Photoshop in 1998.

The problem is, as usual, the internet.

Being pro moderate drinking and uh, "gooning" is going to turn me into fucking Andy Rooney.