Secretary of War Pete Hegs... *© • 39m The War Department is once again restoring freedom to our Joint Force. We are discarding the mandatory flu vaccine requirement, effective immediately.

Mortarion to The Death Guard during the Horus Heresy:

Hell yeah

Brasseye's "This is the one thing we didn't want to happen" graphic, with the words floating in different fonts over an image of a NASA controller.

In the process, he made an entirely new revelation of a separate attempt to install in a different diplomatic post a different Labour figure who, it later emerged, had his own controversial ties with a different sex offender.

the Brasseye image but now it says "This is the two things we didn't want to happen"

Starmer is now trapped in an endless cycle of Mandelson statements. He is doomed to repeat it until he can finally change the things that need changing and escape Samsara

It’s finally the Britain the boomers wanted

It is 10,000 AD. A spacefaring alien civilisation discovers the ruins of Earth and processes artefacts into their shared knowledge networks. They accidentally recreate a Keir Starmer chatbot and soon the galaxy burns

It is 2050. The world is an infernal wasteland, billions dead in forced migrations. Britain has balkanised following the collapse of the state. In 10 Downing Street, the corpse of Keir Starmer is about to undertake his 3,000th relaunch and focusing on relentless delivery

It is 2040. Britain is in the grip of several insurgencies, including Captain Gatso’s militia and the Binmen. A septuagenarian Keir Starmer says it’s simply sensible a single potato costs a fiver. There are no civil servants left as they all were fired for the Mandelson errors

The year is 2030. Britain is under martial law following the Iran fuel crisis, climate change accelerates water access problems. Keir Starmer, still PM as he didn’t think it was the appropriate time for an election, apologises once again for appointing Mandelson. Labour Insiders are “concerned”

Managed to see Prince when he did those couple of small shows. It’s one of the few gigs I’ve been to where I went in sort of “ah yeah, I know him, couple of good tunes” to full zealot. Incredible performer and musician, just playing whatever instrument he fancied. Absolute short king

“If only Olly Robbins had spoke up, Starmer could have appointed an associate of a slightly less renowned sex offender”- some dipshit in your mentions soon

Recently saw a video of the Armenian prime minister playing Future to himself in the back of a car, not doing much else. This was somehow more dignified than whatever is going on UKPMTok. At least Pashinyan got a boost from Future on Insta

It’s also in the TikTok replies of his weird looking lost on a submarine videos. Although you click through to the comments of that and the derision is widespread

Probably isn’t even aware of Keith’s circling the drain but just dug in by default either

Plenty of time to recover, However!

“I don’t think lawyers would lie” is this where sensible politics leads you?

Muammar Gaddafi will return in Avengers: Doomsday

Nobody

Absolutely nobody

Roadrunner:

Sean Dyche utter yank nonsense meme

Just seen an American woman horrified that the market street tram stop of Manchester has no security because it’s an “outside mall” and “train station”

It’s obviously all horse shit but following his logic if I’m PM and the civil service had actually done some deep state magic against me I think that’s a cause for Cultural Revolution, or at least an inquiry. Fact he’s basically saying “congrats Olly, all the best” in his leaving card is absurd lmao

Yeah that’s fair, just used it in the context of the broad stroke factions of Captured Left, Soft Left, Labour right and blue Labour fash as to who’s going to coup him

Tories at least had a sense of self preservation and while there was diminishing returns just spiking your leader 3-4 times did actually help them. The only people with that lizard instinct in Labour is the right and they’re currently in control so why would they

“Well yeah obviously Anderson was bad, but Zarah seemed so… *aggressive*”

The shortages from Hormuz are probably going to start to be noticed in the next couple of weeks. He’s got that, the local elections and he’s kicked off by just getting clowned on for the whole country to see. Anybody with sense would just quit because fuck dealing with that, but not our boy

I’d probably bring a big of cans to Parliament if I was an MP tbh, this was always just going to be a farcical spectacle

You’re laughing? The PM’s defence for appointing Britain’s most notorious scumbag is that he’s a complete moron with a stupid face and a stinky butt and you’re laughing??

the PM being visibly mocked by parliament has confirmed Britain is Open for Banter, and it’s good Actually

Starmer has said he tried to adult too hard, and that he hadn’t had his coffee before appointing Mandelson