I love this.

Ask ILB: Why don't you play the guitar any more? - Innocent Loverboy ILB can't play the guitar any more and, instead of doing anything constructive about this, he's written this blog post about it, Fantastic.

I need to keep reminding my OH that I'm not sad about this...

innocentlb.com/2026/04/18/a...

...but I am sad about it and that's why I wrote about it.

This is structurally identical to a Da Share Z0ne post

So, erm, yeah, it may have taken me about 4 bzillion years to get here, but I AM here and I cannot WAIT to see #James. 💮

Hi, I'm a sex blogger and occasional essayist / reviewer. I'm working on a novella at the moment, but my main body (heh) of work is at innocentlb.com. I have myotonic dystrophy, so movement is painful, and an arrhythmic heart which could kill me at any moment... but it hasn't done so yet!

Was there an entrance to a multi-level magic world that needed a hero to save it every weekend, like there was in my garden?

Jurassic Park. My school put it on - I would have been 10, maybe 11. I screamed and burst into tears precipitating a year of people punching me to see me cry again. I asked my parents to make a formal complaint, but they never ended up doing so.

Alone for the next few days as my OH is going away to do an event. I genuinely have no idea what to do with myself.

So I went to see the Mario movie, I had pizza and now I'm following the results of the Hungarian elections, so basically it's a good day. ♥️

The two are inextricable goals.

Millipedes fart through the joins between their body segments. They do, of course, have an anus, but gas does not exit through it.

"Up! Down! No loser," headless Russian claims, unconvincingly (11)

Unlike everything else that goes into... [complete joke at your own leisure]

I think you used the Bluesky compose window by mistake. The Fesshole submission page is at...

Although the Tsar did not survive, one daughter may be still alive!

Vagina satsuma.

I use a Billy bookcase from IKEA!

He [is/has]* Risen!

Hallelujah, 'n stuff.

[*delete as appropriate, according to how stringent you are about grammar]

✝️

This took me FAR too long.

The Met Office announce that Storm Dave has been named. The background photo is of the sea, looking appropriately moody. Because Dave’s like that.

Originally, of course, it was Storm UK Gold Classics.

JESUS CHRIST (ninth hour): Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?

GOOFY (present at the crucifixion): Gawrsh

Are they good breasts? I'm sure they arrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Tweet: Sean T. Collins • @theseantcollins JESUS CHRIST (ninth hour): Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani? GOOFY (present at the crucifixion): Gawrsh 11:37 AM • 1/29/19 is

in honor of good friday may i present @seantcollins.com brilliant tweet from 2019

Pictures, or it didn't happen.

I genuinely did think this one would be much dirtier than what I ended up writing.

innocentlb.com/2026/04/03/t...

I guess my purity comes through even when I'm doing wanking chat.

Exactly twenty years ago on this date, I had my 21st birthday party - the first and last time I've felt like a large group of people actually wanting to see me. Two decades and I still remember it...

Cassette tape release of Cuban Boys single "Cognoscenti vs Intelligentsia" (1999).

@ricardoautobahn.co.uk Look what I found in my mum's attic!

Hotel door handle with a sign hanging off it that says “Alles super! All good here”

Considerate of this hotel to provide a door sign to use when you absolutely definitely aren’t doing any crimes in your room.