This is Kate. She loves nothing more than swimming in the pool. Except possibly swimming in circles in the pool. 13/10 (TT: evanthebright)

There should be a corner at Home Depot where a guy with a table saw will slice you off custom lengths of hot dog from an infinite hot dog coming out of the wall

Posted in the contact improv community chat!

Ooh do you have a flyer or details? I can post in the contact improv group. Know at least one dad who would probably be interested

a big fluffy cat wearing a yellow croc sandal on its head like a pope hat

elect him

we just need stupider leftists. I'm dead serious. charismatic guys with the stamina to record 100 instagram reels a week in the front seat of their car saying stuff like "trump made summers too hot" and "the fries at wendy's taste better ever since they went woke"

the 15th anniversary remaster cover for the fat of the land just adding more crabs is one of the funniest album covers I’ve ever seen. i think about it all the time

A few billion years ago a cell divided for the first time, and now you, a colony of trillions of specialized cells, can get shot by the mob because the horse you bet on tripped and broke the single giant toenail it runs on, and I think that's beautiful.

FBI Uncovers Al-Qaeda Plot To Just Sit Back And Enjoy Collapse Of United States

FBI Uncovers Al-Qaeda Plot To Just Sit Back And Enjoy Collapse Of United States
theonion.com/fbi-unc...

Please tell me you know about Sandwich, Massachusetts. They have the best police cars:

Relevant news from today: bsky.app/profile/forr...

Now that @terriblemapshq.bsky.social is here I can finally leave X 😂

The Ninja Turtles Logo Generator I made on a whim one day might be my entire legacy.

The words "post-traumatic stress disorder" displayed like the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles logo.

x.com/wiki_tmnt ! Maybe we can get them to come over here to bsky? Worth it for gems like: