which base is it when you kiss a girl on both her knees and her left forearm

i feel like my wardrobe is slowly just going to become exclusively tour shirts and i am ok with this

i saw oasis last night btw

i got called sir at work today (i did not really think much at all of it) but then the guy apologised and called me miss and then asked for my pronouns like DAMN do i really just look THAT trans and then he bought me a drink

as far as they know i’m cishet btw

what does it mean if 2 of my coworkers are planning to go to a gay bar and they turn to me and ONLY me to invite me to join them

kinda homophobic of sabrina carpenter to make straight people content during pride month

“surprisingly” bloody hell someones got confidence

first time?

oh yeah those are done by mail

i mean yes in the sense that my years supply of estradiol undecylate and injection equipment was delivered by mail. is that what you meant?

i just almost accidentally threw away my capture card because the box it came in looks exactly like the boxes for blood tests ive got lying around my room from doing DIY HRT

ah yes my favourite game, 1.

🛸🛸🛸🛸🛸🛸

holy fuck foo fighters un broke up we're so back

i would like to announce my immediate return to smb1 any% on a mission of pure spite and hatred.

if a broken clock is right twice per day and a working clock is only right once per day then that means a broken clock is better

currently thinking about that time as a school project we reported on the election of a new pope at sky studios (they did not use 9 year olds on actual sky news unfortunately)

currently thinking about how bishops would be really good at baserunning in baseball but rooks would fucking suck

i just realised king kaliente from mario galaxy is just an octorock from zelda my world has been shattered

is it just me or is it like super hot when someone quits energy drinks and starting drinking coffee instead like an adult

today at work i got a hot girl to put a vibrator in her trousers in front of me

it’s april 10th and the atlanta braves game gets fucking postponed imagine my shock history truly repeats itself just to spite specifically me

my government mandated pay rise was £0.23 less than it should’ve been meaning i lose out on £430 per year which is literally just oppression of specifically me

why was mkw afraid of mk7?
because mk7 mk8 mkw!
follow for more funny lmaos

lowkey drummer susie gives off nirvana era dave grohl vibes

THEY MADE KRIS A ROCK STAR I AM IN LOVE

who wants to help me become the first person to have e-sex on Nintendo Switch 2 GameChat

I_ I

you had the option of not skeeting this but instead you chose to do so and i am disappointed in you.