You should make Pokémon smoothies

Do weed diva

Just like do something else

Lemme take that train mama

I love the electric car discussion as much as the next guy but is selling your gas powered car and getting an ev going to make a bigger difference than commuting via public transit. This is about a YouTube video I watched and not about anyone I know, who I love all of

The ninajirachi and slayyytersaince prove that me and other gay people are sort of like nostradamus

Eaten by a creature?
Call UN - DIGEST
We can get some people back!

Folks, we argue about important hot takes, but here's my scorching take that does not matter at all.

There is no such thing as good soup. Soup was a bad idea that we've outgrown as a species.

Hey idiot you are actually fierce and everyone loves you but you live far away from where I live. Does that mean anything

My coworker who did aid work in Senegal and Haiti brings me such a sense of peace when I complain to her about politics like yesssss ground truthing

Never stop drinking Diet Coke it’ll make you want to die

Not to be reductive but I expertly planned a week of travel between the Industry finale and the Comeback premiere

Watching the Olympics at home 5 hours late hello

My job is too demanding for me to watch the Olympics at my desk this is like a disaster

Ninajirachi was a Moving Castle darling and a lot of you are too young to know that. I love her down

What is this Ryan Murphy show where Meghan traitor gets pragued

Decaf was named after its inventor, Deglan Caffeine, a bizarre person who is poorly understood by science

Half day of work due to snow can I get a yay

Entering the winter of saving money now sorry for the delay also this doesn’t apply to any good deals on cedar chests or nightstands. However, those exceptions are to preserve my existing assets so it’s fine

Checking out at the Apple Store is so annoying and they make the Genii say things like “if you wanted to trade in your phone, the trade in value is $230” like hello Genius I am buying a charger

Can banks get fewer addresses please

If anyone produces a Shane and Ilya fan cam to 7 years by Charli, you are obligated to share it with me

You can’t tell me the heated rivalry boys wouldn’t have been on Ellen in 2017 hello

Can a gay man Fujo out. Is that allowed

I hate the movie Elf

The only geese I care about are regulated by the United States Department of FISH and WILDLIFE!!!!

Work is so stressful this month I have been planning a weeklong trip to Tashkent 💕

My birthday party (9 months away mind you) will have a vinyl dj, a hot dog eating contest, and balloons so help me god

Knock knock
Who’s there
Chicago bean
Chicago bean who
Chicago bean world tour coming to your house today

August Rush musical starring Talia Suskauer is in the works because I created it in my mind palace in 2015 by the way