you can’t?

oh i am giddy today :)

and you forgot to pack jon’s diapers? :(

not now sweetie mommy is hadestownmaxxing

Good thing the party doesn’t start until you get there! Happy birthday hon 🥰🥂

swooning 😍

you’re so right, get me on HGTV

the way my ability to take a good photo totally disappears the second a drop of alcohol touches my system

leg day into spa day let’s go girls

stud

you’ve gotten so big 😮‍💨

literally a day before i have a very handsome houseguest and my landlord has turned my beautiful yard into a construction site and failed to fix my AC. chat i’m cooked

THE ICON

just remembered MUNA’s cover of motivation. the horrors persist

That is brutal, at least I could hop off and call a Lyft after 20 more minutes 😭

Oh God the Brown Line has been stopped at Sedgwick for the last 15 minutes, I’m scared

why thumbs up react when you can just shoot me with a gun

who am I to argue with Mr. Tits himself but it’s fun imo

the prodigal daughter is finally coming home

olivia literally prophesied me planning on my wedding with some guy i’ll never marry…. terrified what ill portents this next album holds for me

sorry i watched purple noon for the first time last night

if i could get dinner with anyone alive or dead i would suck off alain delon in the middle of the olive garden

robyn is a better woman than me bc if i saw my ex at the train station with his new gf and she had on the scarf i gave him they would both be on the tracks

moving it to the top of the list

Ooh! I’ll add it to the list! I’m trying to get better about actually watching seminal films instead of just relying on cultural osmosis

okay time to take an edible and put my criterion channel subscription to work

get me back in a courtroom STAT

i got angry and successfully negotiated $1k off in rent this month, kinda feel like a god

spot me?