Oh sure… They warn you about the memory loss, the brain damage, the anxiety, the social withdrawal, the lung damage, the fatty liver… But does anyone ever warn you about the Bee Gees?!? Stupid anti-drug ads.
It does if you scrub hard enough
That’s the one that causes taint rot, right? No thanks!
And even 5% just gets you vinegar…
🔥Volcanic lightning - an electrical discharge caused by colliding particles of ash and ice rather than from a thunderstorm.
Remember: moisture is the enemy of browning.
It’s the Home Bloodletting kits I’m waiting for
Snow White, drunk as fuck, changing her tampon between two parked cars on Main St., USA. “Take a picture, it’ll last longer, kid,” she slurs, then topples onto her side.
I probably threw away two thousand dollars worth of sex toys the last time I “decluttered”. Enough dildos and butt plugs to make a large and very greasy chess set, probably.
And now? All I have left is regret.
Fuck you, Marie Kondo.
I was born with a star spangled butthole, and it just keeps getting more star spangled the older I get. I just don’t mention it too often in public - the line of patriots waiting to rail my sparkly star spangled ass is long enough as it is.
Don’t ask a question you don’t really want to know the answer to.
@lscrapl.bsky.social garbage cock - truly the best handle on Bluesky.
Shit’s so bleak that Requiem for a Dream is being rereleased as a comedy
Sick. And wrong. Sick and wrong.
If you leave it around un-refrigerated long enough to ferment, though… *just* before it starts to get moldy, it’s really quite intoxicating.
Maybe, but I was well over 50 when I realized that it wasn’t Yankee Doodle’s feather nor his cap that he called ‘Macaroni’ - it was in fact his PONY.
Some of us are slow learners.
The new song by Kacey Musgraves!
Call me old fashioned, but I liked Abracadabra by Lady Gaga better when it was called Mad World by Tears for Fears.
My pronouns are ‘Z’ and ‘Z’.
ZZ Top implies the existence of ZZ Bottom
They are called ‘Floridians’.
I have never wound up on Threads on purpose.
Mmmm, yum, grilled cheese. I bet you’d be great served with bacon.
Wow.
Damn hobos, abandoning their junkers in the alley behind my house…
“milquetoast Dem who happens to be _________ in his spare time” - covers nearly every dem ‘leader’ in the party right now. ‘Ineffectual’ seems to be the major qualification for left of center office these days.
Not only will I CONTRAdict you, but I will dict you all sorts of other exciting ways as well.
(Regardless of how this goes over, I find it really tends to speeds things along toward the date’s inevitable conclusion — one way or the other…)
I like to give tulips on a first date… just so when they say “Tulips?!?” I can respond with “Yeah! TWO LIPS ON MY COCK…”
My butt is a garden of earthly delights.
