With the help of the Sandy Hook families, The Onion has reached a long-awaited deal to take over InfoWars.
We've enlisted the help of @timheidecker.bsky.social, who will be InfoWars' Creative Director.
Please stand by for more.
Why do the Japanese like their buns askew (2026)
Have I seen this picture a million times? Yes.
Am I laughing after seeing it *again*? Also yes. 🤣🤣
Never gets old.
THEY SENT FOUR HUMAN BEINGS 252,756 MILES AWAY, WENT FULLY AROUND THE MOON AND BROUGHT THEM BACK TO LAND IN THE PRECISE LOCATION THEY WANTED
EVERYONE WHO WORKED ON THIS IS THE COOLEST PERSON ON EARTH
Things that work: giant rocket, very precise math, orbital mechanics, cameras, iPhones
Things that don’t work: Microsoft Outlook, toilets, sat phones
NASA scientists, they’re just like us
I’ve been thinking about this guy almost daily for ten fucking years. essentially my entire 30’s. when he finally croaks I imagine I’ll let out a sigh so deep it realigns my fucking spine
"Moon's haunted"
A CRT on top of a 90s PC (with floppy disk) showing the Trans Pride Flag
Happy International Transgender Day of Visibility!
We're everywhere and we're cool.
Here's the trans pride flag 🏳️⚧️ on a mid-90s Pentium running DOS.
I was born in an Iranian prison. My parents were held in their jails. My uncles lie in their mass graves. Nothing you can tell me about the crimes of the Iranian regime that I haven't lived in blood and bone. That doesn't mean I want my people bombed, maimed, killed, their homes in ruins. If your vision of liberation comes only through the destruction of innocent lives, then it's not freedom you're after. Sahar Delijani, Iranian author
I am pro Iranian people. I stand with them against their own government’s repression AND against the imperial violence in the form of bombs dropped from the sky from Israel & the US who have already killed hundreds.
I support neither imperialism or dictatorship.
Sahar Delijani said it best:
holodeck games where you punch nazis
im not a linux evangelist but people post on here weekly like "i miss when computers were more like the early 2000s and had basic software and i didn't have to pay attention to all the flashiness and complexity and updates" girl what you desire is running stable debian on a spare thinkpad
Goldman to Lyons: "You said in your opening statement that references to ICE as 'the Gestapo' or 'secret police' encourages threats against ICE agents. The problem is you have it backwards. People are simply making valid observations about your tactics, which are un-American and outright fascist."
happening this morning in Minneapolis -- ICE agents drawing guns on observers. I reiterate again that it is only a matter of time before DHS kills more innocent people in Minnesota. Congress needs to shut this shit down right now.
RFK Jr. Demonstrates How To Remove Tapeworm By Scooting Ass Across Carpet
RFK Jr. Demonstrates How To Remove Tapeworm By Scooting Ass Across Carpet theonion.com/rfk-jr-demonstrates-how-...
*fully restores your HP as you scroll past*
im sorry but we just spent the last decade being told the biggest issues were pronouns in emails and a trans kid playing jv lacrosse
if you said these things and got paid for it then you need to go away. literally if “woke mind virus” is something youve ever said unironically you need to go away
They call it "pulling a Vatican"
I’ve never heard of a “law enforcement” agency putting an officer who just killed someone back on the street under 24 hours. And that’s because all shootings are treated as homicides pending investigation. This is as clear a sign as you’ll get that DHS personnel enjoy practical immunity from murder.
graphic that says no ice in Minnesota itch.io charity bundle
The No ICE in Minnesota charity bundle submission period is now open: itch.io/jam/no-ice-i...
All games, free and paid, TTRPG and browser based-alike are welcome
Submissions are open until January 26 & the charity bundle supporting a Minnesota based Immigrants' rights org will go live in February
Alex Pretti was a colleague at the VA. We hired him to recruit for our trial. He became an ICU nurse- I lover working with him. He was a good kind person who lived to help and these fuckers executed him.
White. Hot. Rage.
This is what police have been doing to black Americans since forever. Enough of the "this isn't who we are." You're now noticing because it's white people.
I think this makes a hell of a lot of sense.
ICE defeated by ice never gets old.
This. I am done returning to the status quo of what got us here. I want universal healthcare. I want a maximum wage tied to the minimum wage. I want omnipresent, cheap public transit and walkable neighborhoods. I want Supreme Court and police reform, and I want the rich to pay their fair share.
Hi yeah so literally every single ICE agent and member of this administration are among the worst uses of carbon I can imagine
We could be helping people
WE COULD. BE HELPING. PEOPLE.
There are not enough streets in the world to drag these motherfuckers through.
If this doesn't motivate you to vote in the Midterms, nothing will.
