I'll try to factor that in.

Bought some crackers to enjoy when I'm next at the beach. Disappointed to find they won't be as good once we get there.

Just been on a conference call with a team of welders. Had no idea what they were talking about.

It was riveting.

New food range, from Waitrose

Good to see Meta's AI is offering me some handy (I thank you) suggestions for prompts to ask it about this article

BREAKING - US President makes promise to shit his pants.

All of our Meat, Poultry & Cheese has been certified under the Red Tractor Scheme as a sign of quality food you can trust.

People exploding, a bride shitting themselves in a wedding dress, a man flying off a waterslide a mile up in the air - All these and more are AI slop and I'm tired of seeing it. So I'm now on a personal mission to block every single person/entity that shares it.

Yet another scandal hits the BBC
#TimeTravellingDrugDealer #DoctorWho #Friends

I've followed a tap dancing group on Instagram.

I'm not interested in the content - I'm only in it for the clicks.

Red wine, white wine or a G&T?

Apologies for the weather. We got our garden furniture out last weekend.

Who's your Daddy?
#MayThe4thBeWithYou #StarWarsDay #ALongTimeAgo

I see a lot of people are watching Conclave, but did you know there is a sequel which shows things from an completely opposite angle? It's called Convexed. #Pope

"Popular Searches" on TV this evening, and an insight into how the British public deal with grief. #Pope #Easter

JD Vance just did for the Pope what Liz Truss did for the Queen. #LastHandshake

It's always wise to get your food labelling right when you share your house with other people.

#Easter #Chocolate

The Easter Bunny has come! Now don't overdo it today kids, or tomorrow the Keister Bunny will be paying you a visit... and probably whilst you are still asleep #Chocolate

Doctor Who - Season 2: 2. Lux The Doctor's quest to get Belinda home takes the Tardis to Miami in 1952, where an abandoned cinema is hiding a terrifying secret. Can the Doctor uncover Lux's power?

By far, one of the best Doctor Who episodes, ever. Incredibly clever, packed with humour and heart, and breaks all the rules. Absolutely joyous. No spoilers.

Doctor Who, Season 2: 2. Lux: www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m002b8rr

It was lovely to be able to hear... nothing

M25 J10-11 fully closed for the last time? Let's hope so.

Dilemma of the day. Do you bury a dead stick insect horizontally or vertically? Face up, or face down?

We should remove 24 letters of the alphabet.

Then it would just be easy.

Embarrassing story. One of the pitfalls of being an actor. I was recognised earlier whilst walking through the High Street. Minding my own business and staring at my phone when... it unlocked.

It's Monday afternoon already? The week is practically over. I'm going back to bed.

eBay

Three spare puzzle pieces for sale. No time wasters.

Panini Hole, surely

"Unconditional discharge" is also the phrase I like to use to describe Mr Trump.

DINGBATS - you have to try and work out the famous phrase or saying in under a minute. Our 8 year-old daughter's guess? "Panini Hole". Winner.