How do you bastards keep dining out less than 10 miles from my house and not inviting me along?
Mind you, I've never invited you twats when I've been there, so I suppose it's fair enough.
The place is actually very nice, especially if you're a meat-lover. Instead of a specials board they have a list of available cuts, and normally just one of each. Last time I was there three of us shared a 1.5Kg cut of brisket, and it was delicious. It was also (IIRC) £75.
Leaflet of three candidates, white blokes with limited hair, all in glasses. --- **GATESHEAD IS BROKEN. VOTE REFORM UK TO FIX IT** Introducing your Reform UK candidates for Low Fell leaflet text: **ATKINSON, John** Reform UK John has lived in Low Fell for 30+ years. His background is in civil engineering, policing, teaching and transport. He wants to bring back a sense of community, listen to residents' concerns and focus on local issues such as crime, roads and streets, and better services. --- **HENDERSON, Iain** Reform UK Iain has lived and worked in Gateshead all his life. Now retired, he wants to give something back to the borough. With a positive outlook, Iain is looking forward to making a real difference to the lives of the residents of Low Fell and to working closely with them. --- **MURRAY, Arthur** Reform UK Arthur has owned several businesses for many years. He has lived locally for 50 years and employs local staff, servicing the northeast and Scotland. His priorities are to see the ward and area prospering once again, caring for the old and infirm and maintaining our parks and open spaces. ---
This Reform leaflet from three Gateshead candidates looks like a timelapse of the same person
An advertisement for Trainspotting: The Musical. No, it really is. I didn’t even photoshop it or anything. It’s a real thing.
Want to feel old? This is Starlight Express now…
"As my country goes to the polls today I burn with hope that we will be rid of the evil of… OPPOSITION TO OUR GLORIOUS LEADER, VIKTOR OBAN. MAY HE RULE FOR 1,000 YEARS. SINCERELY, LITTLE GIRL."
Ask if you can see their treaty. Does it specifically say that we're not allowed to burn down the White House again?
Did you forget to bring your canon with you?
I made the (non-football fan) mistake of getting married on the day Newcastle United played Man U. in the FA Cup final. There was an awful lot of checking of watches during the speeches.
A Times advert where the caption has been unfortunately cut short and says "Could you fill one of 74,000 hos...".
Erm...
Right, happy with that.
Parseword #73
⚡️ 48s
💎 Perfect
[Humphrey Littleton]: … Lionel Blair was also known for his heroic acts, like the time on Blackpool Pier that him and Alan Carr saw a man trying to toss himself off and right on the edge. The pair rushed to help and, to the man's great surprise, pulled him off between them.
And, of course, his starring role in the greatest musical of all time, Billy the Kid and the Green Baize Vampire.
Please do a Spinal Tap! Please, dear god, do a Spinal Tap!
Can we get this sorted, please, because I need to know if I can count my signed copy of Don't Panic as part of my retirement fund.
I suppose I can always get to work with a Sharpie and try to make the signature look more like it says 'Douglas Adams'.
I see they've let @rich-bryant.uk back in.
Never mind, we can have another go at mass reporting him on Monday.
Gannin' doon the quayside the neet? Couple of pints, bit of a laugh, have kerbab and punch a police horse?
I'm embarrassed by how long this took me. I guessed the wrong bit as the definition.
Parseword #72
⏱️ 5m22s
💎 Perfect
☎️ Secret Found
Would you be interested in selling the film rights to this post? Alan Moore is already on-board to disassociate himself from it.
People in the comments saying we should tell more people about them. They seem to think this will get rid of the bias.
Maybe it's just me, but it's message - that even if rage drives the president to turn into a giant red monster, which wrecks Washington, then everything will be OK if they just calm down, give up, and agree to go to prison forever - was possibly too subtle for audiences.
Well, I knew what two letters it started with, and the other letter I had was the final one (it turned out), so there really weren't many options.
Because Wordle doesn't count all the times it has to tell you, "That isn't a real word" and, it turns out, that from the letters I had from my first guess there is only one possible word.
Not me, of course. I'm quite happy.
Wordle 1,756 2/6
🟩🟩🟨⬜⬜
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
"The sentries report angry Wordle players to the East of the Atlantic. Thousands of them."
Every time you find an error just add a footnote, explaining, "This is a deliberate mistake, so I can tell if AI is plagiarising this book." Sorted.
Day 37 of the US war with the Vatican and the President has triumphantly announced a ceasefire under which the Papacy can charge a toll on souls passing through the Pearly Gates, the Swiss Guard get nuclear weapons, and Holy Water sanctions are lifted.
You have to think it would be tricky being the head of two different states at the same time, though.
Still, I'd definitely watch a comedy film about the Pope being elected president. Call it 'The White Robe House', maybe.
Nah, I couldn't be doing with a live-in housekeeper. Basically, I just want a manageable 3-bed semi, with a 5 or 6 storey tower adjoining. The nation's house-builders are utterly failing to meet my modest requirements.
Thinking of Freddie Krueger who died on this date peacefully in someone else's sleep.