Divine Patronage: A Separate System for Party Advancement In the past, I've written about why parties should have their own character sheet.  The party sheet can track reputation, how noisy they ar...

goblinpunch.blogspot.com/2026/03/divi...

It's tough to please everyone, unless you have weirdly homogenous groups.

I tell myself that if players keep showing up to my games, then that means that I'm not a shit DM.

Congrats! Do you ever use Google Lens to identify plants/trees on your walk? I've gradually learned all my neighborhood trees from long walks.

I just had my first aura migraine. What the actual fuck. Why did no one tell me that I could go temporarily blind on my left side for no reason at all.

2/5 stars

Sorry to hear that. Winter is kind of oppressive sometimes.

For what it's worth, you certainly have a lot of digital friends who care about you.

Hope you eat some good food in your near future.

Intergalactic Bastionland Public Playtest Intergalactic Bastionland is now ready for public playtesting.  Go here to find everything you need . We're a way off the Kickstarter yet, ...

That's right, you can now try Intergalactic Bastionland in a very early, messy state.

www.bastionland.com/2026/02/inte...

A couple more:

"For Sale" makes something up for sale (but not necessarily affordable).

"Help Wanted" lets you recruit a hireling anywhere.

That's the goal. Upgrading from a sword +1 to a sword +2 involves no creative thought. Deciding which goofy magic items to bring is more interesting.

Lol everyone just clips through the floor

Other similar items:

A "closed" sign that locks the door it is affixed to.

A "danger" sign that makes any object or location trapped.

A "construction site" that (painfully) creates construction workers from the environment, who then complete any unfinished construction work nearby.

MAGIC ITEM: "Out of Order" sign.

Anything that this object is affixed to will break. This effect typically ends when the sign is removed.

If you affix it to a bridge, the bridge won't instantly collapse, but the next wagon that goes over it will probably fall through it.

Definitely another reason to add to the list.

Clowns Out of all the underworld's vomit , there are none so hated as clowns.  Clown Long feet, bright red nose, sharp teeth, and long prehensile...

Behind the door: a clown nest.

goblinpunch.blogspot.com/2021/11/clow...

ROOM: The Coward's Door

When approached, this door runs away, sliding away on the wall like a paper across a desk, bricks clattering. It zooms down hallways, hides behind tapestries, and will find a loop in the dungeon so it can't be cornered.

Only when the doorknob is grasped does it halt.

My God, it's beautiful.

Gender Among the Elves. Built from two starting premises.

1. Elves can change their gender easily.
2. Elven society is still pretty patriarchal.

goblinpunch.blogspot.com/2026/02/gend...

I guess this isn't technically a magic item, it's a non-magical object that behaves like magic because the nature of our souls requires it to be.

Ancient people didn't draw a line between magic and non-magic anyway. Tides, eclipses, prophecies, curses, and hospitality codes were all mixed together

It's not even good wine, it's just that the Second Emperor is the one who inscribed moral (and social) laws on the heart of the world, which still stand.

Like, even demons will stop trying to kill you and attempt to be gracious for a short amount of time. (Hostilities can resume after the wine is gone.)

Even slimes will attempt to be hospitable, perhaps burping up a half-digested badger for you to share.

MAGIC ITEM: The Second Emperor's Wine.

If presented as a gift, this bottle of wine requires the recipient to cease hostilities and share a meal with you.

Works on dragons, undead, even slimes. This is an ancient covenant of hospitality.

If blood has already been spilt, it's not a compulsion.

After the collapse of America, we're going to need all the AOL disks we can get. I hope you saved a few.

Die, Clerics, Die!

A system for a party-wide shared HP pool (sorta) based on Cheer / Morale.

goblinpunch.blogspot.com/2026/02/be-o...

I watched Quest for Camelot yesterday and noticed that the falcon is the only competent one there.

DUNGEON BOSS. On the mountain top. Wrackton is an evil blind sage staff fighter, Level 7. Death Wing is a Lvl 10 peregrine falcon that can fly 300 mph, decapitate knights in a single pass, and blow over a horse with his shockwave. He has the mind of a normal trained falcon.

I'm gonna start keeping firearms and survivalist supplies near my desk. :(

I think laced boots are what miners wear because they have to go into mines. Over time full-laces just became miner-coded.

Blacksmiths, sitting in their comfy shops, can afford to wear their boots with every other hole laced. (Or like, some comfy steel toe slippers, idk.)

I've done some thinking and realized that I'm a blacksmith.

There are only two genders. Don't pretend that there aren't.

So be honest. Are you a blacksmith or a miner?

goblinpunch.blogspot.com/2025/08/dwar...

Magic Amulet - Endowment of the Flesh God.

Focus on a creature to see through their eyes and learn their greatest desire. If you fail an easy Cha save their greatest desire overwrites your own greatest desire.

Also, your bloodstreams commingle, sharing the effects of any potion, intoxicant, etc.

MONSTER: Atrocidon. Stats as ogre. Appear in packs of 1d3+1. Powerful lizard-hulks but effectiveness is crippled by their overriding urge for cruelty. Will *always* attack the weakest person. Will *always* go out of their way to trample a baby. Famously easy to control in this way.