I could go for some eggplant rollatini right now

Ohhh shit. I forgot about this. This is why I was cropdusting the whole time

The number of parents who reek of weed at Chuck E Cheese is a lot. Dog, I don't judge but if you want to show up at a kids place high, at least vape or have edibles. Come on now. At least try not to reek of it.

There's nothing wrong with a K shaped economy for those who are on the upper end of the K

Wifey brought home leftover Mexican from her trip. Probably shouldn't eat a ton of beans before a kid's birthday party tomorrow at Chuck E Cheese. I'm going to be gassing the place out over there...

I have the worst luck in fantasy baseball with my breakouts. Abel starts the season 0-2 like a jerkoff, so I bench him. Then he throws a gem for 34 while he's on my bench. FFS

Explain to me how in the Welcome to Atlanta (Coast to Coast Remix) Radio edit, they bleep out marijuana but not cocaine

The school nurse is an asshole and I want her to refund me my $25 copay because she said my kid's ears were both red and swollen. Took her to the doctor to see if she had an ear infection for antibiotics and she's completely fine. "ears look great"

Hikikomori: The Japanese Phenomenon Of Total Social Withdrawal That Is Quietly Spreading Across The World Is hikikomori, a phenomenon in Japan where people isolate themselves from society, spreading to other parts of the world?

Bring it! I'm all for yeeting myself out of society. Hikikomori. The Japanese really know what they're doing over here.

www.iflscience.com/hikikomori-i...

Eat a dick, I won the battle. Now I get to go home

Just one of those days where the CI will always fail no matter how many fixes you push. This is starting to annoy the ever living shit out of me ffs.

The amount of trolling and absurdities I commit into the codebases at work is beyond. DevOps Borat:

"Whenever I'm too hot, it sounds like I'm speaking British" -E

Protip: don't eat 10 chicken nuggets and then power walk to school pickup when it's 78 degrees outside

God miserable damn it with this shit. I'm busy, late to leave, and now the security team pages out to rotate mf'in GitHub secrets that got exposed

How come all high school white boys have broccoli heads?

Never had the president threatening the pope on my 2026 bingo card...

Mike Pinder always took you on a journey outside your mind, through the solar system, among the stars and back again on a wild roller coaster. What a guy.

Can't I catch a fucking break over here? Lost by 3 points last week, and this week, I scored 3rd highest points in the league but happened to match up against one of the two teams that did better. I was predicted to win and didn't. Now I'm predicted to lose next week and probably will.

I mean... I dreamt one of my starters threw a perfect game and I got 100 points. Thought I had wee 3 in the bag. Then checked and saw my best mfer on the injured list and that it was a fake dream. Fuck off all you hoes

I thought my fantasy baseball team had a little hope this season. I changed my strategy and won the first game. I'm about to have lost weeks 2 and 3 🤷

Team fuckin blows

Both Netflix and YouTube Music Premium are raising prices and it's going to cost me like $9 more a month for both.

You know who never raised prices ever? Torrents. Free for life.

#StickItToTheMan #EatTheRich #FuckMediaConglomerates

Dog why were movies so crazy in the 70s. Charlie and The Chocolate Factory flat out absurd. Old Grandpa Joe's sick in bed for 20 years and then he sees Charlie's ticket and suddenly gets up and dances the jig

Everyone's breaking my balls over here today

Scientists develop gene-edited wheat that can make toasted bread less carcinogenic Bread and biscuits made from Crispr-edited wheat showed substantially reduced acrylamide levels

Hogwash! My grandpa ate burnt toast all the time. He used to say the charcoal was good for the stomach. Guy lived to 99.

www.theguardian.com/science/2026...

Artemis II astronauts are like: "Thank Christ we left that shithole planet"

The trains have been angry the past few nights

Here's a video of a cardinal being an aggressive prick in my bird feeder

I have fuckin agita over here. Everything was going fine and then all of a sudden my mom starts shit with wifey and my fucking plumbing company sent me a surprise $500 invoice, 2 months later, for electrical work related to a plumbing install which should have included everything

My neurodivergent ass found it interesting that my laptop (which runs 24/7), uses 2 more idle watts when running nginx, php and Selenium docker containers - with no requests, load or tests running vs the docker engine shut down.